On this day Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr went on holiday to Santa Cruz, Tenerife, for a 12-day holiday.
At the same time John Lennon accepted an offer from Brian Epstein to accompany him to Barcelona, for a trip also lasting 12 days.
It was just three weeks after Lennon’s wife Cynthia had given birth to their son Julian.
I was on holiday with Brian Epstein in Spain, where the rumours went around that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship.It was my first experience with a homosexual that I was conscious was homosexual. He had admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant, and I went to Spain and there were lots of funny stories. We used to sit in a cafe in Torremolinos looking at all the boys and I’d say, ‘Do you like that one, do you like this one?’ I was rather enjoying the experience, thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this, you know. And while he was out on the tiles one night, or lying asleep with a hangover one afternoon, I remember playing him the song Bad To Me. That was a commissioned song, done for Billy J Kramer, who was another of Brian’s singers.
All We Are Saying, David Sheff
The question of whether any sexual contact happened between Lennon and Epstein has been the subject of considerable speculation in the years since.
Cyn was having a baby and the holiday was planned, but I wasn’t going to break the holiday for a baby and that’s what a b*****d I was. And I just went on holiday. I watched Brian picking up the boys. I like playing a bit faggy, all that. It was enjoyable, but there were big rumours in Liverpool, it was terrible. Very embarrassing.
Lennon Remembers, Jann S Wenner
Paul McCartney later suggested that Lennon agreed to the holiday in order to assert his authority within The Beatles.
Brian Epstein was going on holiday to Spain at the same time and he invited John along. John was a smart cookie. Brian was gay, and John saw his opportunity to impress upon Mr Epstein who was the boss of the group. I think that’s why he went on holiday with Brian. And good luck to him, too – he was that kind of guy; he wanted Brian to know whom he should listen to. That was the relationship. John was very much the leader in that way, although it was never actually said.
Anthology
Although neither he nor Epstein spoke on record about the event, Lennon did apparently reveal to his former schoolfriend Pete Shotton what happened. Shotton quoted the exchange at length, and with characteristic frankness, in his 1983 memoir. This is perhaps the fullest published account which claims to shed light on the true nature of Lennon’s Spanish encounter with Epstein.
I visited John at Aunt Mimi’s a few days after his return to England. And when he started in about how much he had enjoyed Spain, I could hardly resist taking the piss out of him. “So you had a good time with Brian, then?” I smirked. Nudge nudge, wink wink.
I was somewhat taken aback when John didn’t so much as crack a smile. “Oh, fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “Not you as well, Pete!”
“What do you mean, not me as well?”
“They’re all f*****g going on about it.”
It’s OK, John. Don’t take it so serious. I’m just joking, for Christ’s sake.”
“Actually Pete,” he said softly, “Something did happen with him one night.”
Now that wiped the grin right off my face. Had I even dreamed there might be any truth whatsoever to the rumors, I would never have made light of the subject in the first place. Still – as John surely knew – I would have stood by him, and let the rest of the world handle the business of passing moral judgement, even if he had just told me he’d committed murder. And John would surely have done the same for me.
Which, after all, is what true friendship is all about.
“What happened,” John explained, “is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, just stick it up me f*****g arse then.’
“And he said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do.’
“‘Well,’ I said, ‘what is it you like to do, then?’
“And he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John.’
“And so I let him toss me off.”
And that was that. End of story.
“That’s all, John” I said. “Well, so what? What’s the big f*****g deal, then?”
“Yeah, so f*****g what! The poor b*****d. He’s having a f*****g hard enough time anyway.” This was in reference to the “butch” dockers who, on several recent occasions, had rewarded Brian’s advances by beating him to a bloody pulp.
“So what harm did it do, then, Pete, for f**k’s sake?” John asked rhetorically. “No harm at all. The poor f*****g b*****d, he can’t help the way he is.”
John Lennon: In My Life
The Spanish holiday was later dramatised in the 1991 film The Hours And Times, starring David Angus and Ian Hart as Epstein and Lennon respectively.
Also on this day...
- 2022: Paul McCartney live: Spokane Arena, Washington
- 2015: Paul McCartney live: Nippon Budokan, Tokyo
- 2014: Paul McCartney live: Estadio de Liga, Quito
- 2010: George Martin speaks in aid of Deafness Research UK
- 2003: Paul McCartney live: Kölnarena, Cologne
- 1997: Ringo Starr and his All-Starr Band live: Moore Theatre, Seattle
- 1966: Recording: Eleanor Rigby
- 1965: Filming: Help!
- 1964: Television: Around The Beatles
- 1962: The Beatles live: Star-Club, Hamburg
- 1961: The Beatles live: Top Ten Club, Hamburg
Want more? Visit the Beatles history section.
Pete Shotten is full of it. You shouldn’t be treating his fabrications like they’re direct quotes.
Why is he full of it? It sounds very plausible, the story as he tells it. Especially the twist with the actual kind of thing Brian liked to do. Anyway, I’ve read the memoir and there was nothing ‘full of it’ about it that I recall.
well, I think Lennon’s own quotes are ambiguous enough even without Pete’s remarks. It seems everyone who knew Lennon “knows” the truth. Too bad we can’t ask Epstein
“Pete Shotton was full of it” is a comment here. To which I would ask, what motivation would Pete Shotton have to lie? None. His book is one of the ten best, important on the Beatles.
@Jake I agree that it is an important book on the Beatles, but this quote concerns two dead people and there is no way of verifying Shotton’s claim.
If John was alive you’d still have no way of verifying…
money that’s why. I never, ever listen to anything that comes out post mortem just in principal. f*****s will suck there own dicks for a buck. true great, he should have said it and came out with the book while he was alive if he were such a great friend as claimed. this way it could have been refuted by the person in question!!
Well, I don’t think we will never know if it happened…but I hope it did because it would be hot as hell lol (yeah I’m a straight girl, sheesh)
Why in the world would such a “good friend” of John’s write about that in his book? Don’t you think that John would have preferred to keep that kind of thing a secret if it did occur? Not to mention that both men were dead by the time he wrote this so no one could deny his claims – it’s disgusting that he would do such a thing to his friend.
If he went to Spain alone with Epstein, knowing Epstein was a homosexual, there is no doubt, no doubt at all in my mind that Lennon was one too.
…or not?
Apparently John played ‘Bad to me’ to Brian in Barcelona.
He was bi
@Brittany well maybe john would’nt have given a f**k about it.
when he was alive he used to make the quotes or do things that made people fussy about over his sexuality. like this one,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NatIkEmO5wA
and i don’t think this revealiation make people hate john lennon
if they are ‘real’ fan of him. at least for me,i still love john lennon after i red this. i don’t really care wheter he slept with boys or not.
instead,this kind of article just make me more content for better knowing about him.
when he was alive he used to
Yas! Thank You Veatrice!
Rock on John and Brian we still love the music and you both.
Not sure if this has been written about or not but the lyrics to “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, and recorded in October 1963, strongly parallel the comments that Lennon made about what might have happened with Epstein during the trip to Spain around 28 April 1963. It sound like the lyrics are about his experience with Brian. For example, Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something
I think you’ll understand, (Lennon responding to folks) When I’ll say that something, I wanna hold your hand (Brian just wanted to touch John), Oh please, say to me, You’ll let me be your man (could be Brian talking to John), You’ll let me hold your hand (Brian saying this but perhaps changed as to what he wanted to hold of John’s), And when I touch you I feel happy Inside (Brian speaking), It’s such a feeling that my love
I can’t hide (Brian), and all the rest could be things that Brian said to John…Not that any of this makes a huge difference of anything but it just hit me after reading a Beatles book and then hearing the song.
Yeah, you’ve got that something
I think you’ll understand
When I’ll say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
It’s such a feeling that my love
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
Yeah, you’ve got that something
I think you’ll understand
When I’ll feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I never thought of this one. very insightful – two thumbs up (no hidden meaning 🙂
It’s just like Pete’s own fanfiction. (lol)
After reading Johnny Dee’s interpretation of “I Wanna Hold Hand”, I believe that the song “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away” may have been written for Brian Epstein as well.
Torremolinos is near Malaga not Barcelona?
I find it quite interesting that “The Beatles Bible” has no problem at all outing John Lennon’s supposed gay affair with Brian Epstein, based on information that can’t be validated, even adding “a bit too much info” concerning the physical details. And yet, The Beatles Bible cannot come to grips with the rumors (or the real event) of James Paul McCartney being replaced by an impostor. This tells me that content appearing here is controlled by today’s replacement “Paul”, who had numerous well-publicized feuds with John, and to this day, cannot bring himself to say anything kind about him.
You can think that if you want, but the fact is this site is independent of The Beatles/MPL etc. I stopped publishing Paul Is Dead comments because too many people were being idiotic about it, and it became incredibly tedious to have to sift through dozens of ridiculous conspiracy theories day after day, some of which were libellous, some of which were thousands of words long.
But I can certainly “come to grips with the rumors (or the real event)” – I wrote an entire article about it! There are dozens of comments on that page, but I eventually closed it for the above reasons. There is also a forum thread on the subject which is still open, and is currently 43 pages long.
And yet… this page is about John Lennon and Brian Epstein in Barcelona, not about Paul McCartney, so I won’t publish any more comments on the latter here. Cry censorship all you like, but you’re welcome to start your own Beatles/Paul Is Dead website on which you can say whatever you like.
Sorry to break to to you pal but the real paul is still with us. All that Faul stuff is just made up nonsense
Don, what a silly comment! Something is so different to another.One is a true possibility of someething natural. Only homophobics would be upset about the it. Not normal people. The other one is something without any possibility of being true. Uness for dumb people. Not for normal people.
So what if Lennon let Epstein “Toss him off”? The Brits (Especially rock musician types) are obviously not as uptight as a lot of other people about stupid, incidental stuff like this. I think it’s probably true. Why would Shotton lie about it? Seems plausible enough.
I’ve read just about every John Lennon biography published, including May Pang’s and Cynthia’s. He was a lot of things, but one thing he was not is a prude. In interviews he is often shockingly frank about his experiences and opinions; he admits things most people would never reveal about themselves. The Shotton account rings true to me.
John also told the Beatles biographer, Hunter Davis, that they’d had a one night stand, but Hunter thought he was exaggerating and left it out, so I don’t think Pete was exaggerating much, frankly it doesn’t sound like John told him the whole story either.