Philosophy question | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

A fabulous thing(y?). 

Throughout his/herstory there have been many bloody battles stemming from differences in religious beliefs. The worst battle The Beatles Bible has had to endure is who sang those bloody ahhhhs.

Who wouldn’t want some of that?

“…another deadly day in The War of The Beatles.

   “Beatlism as a religion was officially founded in 2262, on the three hundredth anniversary of the holiday celebrating an event remembered only as ‘First Session’. Though non-believers found the concept of the ‘musical messiahs’ without merit, for decades the religion was considered relatively benign — surviving sermons like The Word , All You Need Is Love and All Together Now seen as messages of continuing unity tying together a humanity that has spread across the Solar System since the eco-disasters on home planet Earth in the 22nd century.

   “There were occasional clashes between followers of the Four Gospels — the Gospels of John, Paul, George and Ringo — as to which of these Gospels was the truthful representation of The Beatles. Though these clashes rarely turned violent outside of gatherings of those of the Faith known as ‘Conventions’ (the earliest of these ‘Conventions’ are believed to have happened within their lifetimes).

   “However, around thirty years ago, lesser Sects that had always been present became more forceful — those that followed the Gospels of the ‘DA (duck-arse) drummer’, the ‘Art-School Painter’, the ‘Queer Jew’, the ‘Goon Producer’, and other ‘lesser’ figures — questioning the very foundation of the Faith, and its unquestioning belief in the Gospels of John, Paul, George and Ringo.

   “The followers of the ‘DA drummer’ (referred to as the ‘beautiful one’ by his followers, known as a ‘Pete Best’ by his detractors — though the origin of what a ‘Pete Best’ is has become lost, other than it referring to someone who lost out on the good times) struck the first blow of the War eleven years ago when, on the anniversary of ‘First Session’, they attacked the planetary settlement of Dingle, a home to followers of the Gospel of Ringo, denouncing him as a usurper.

   “Since then we have witnessed many clashes — The Battle of the Eleanor Rigby text, The Battle of the In My Life melody, the continuing John or Paul ‘Aahhs’ skirmishes.

   “None worse though, perhaps, than the attack on the believers of Paul that we saw from the followers of John and George on Venus three months ago. A planetary conflict that is still raging on.

   “How is it that these followers of messages of peace and love have forgotten how to Give Peace A Chance ?

   “And now my ship circles Mars, where many inhabitants of Venus fled after the attack — one of the two planets claimed by the ‘Thumbs Aloft’ One, also known as ‘custodian of the Flaming Pie ‘ from whence they were bestowed Beatles, during his lifetime (though religious accounts in the Gospels of John, George and Ringo are adamant his claim of ownership occurred after he instigated the ‘Schism of Apple, Eastman & Klein’ from which the earliest divisions in the Faith grew). The Battleships Instant Karma and Blow Away are also in orbit, and raining down fire. The surface of the red planet is really running red now.

   “It’s Venus and Mars tonight…”

Thanks to Linde, HeyTrud, Satan Himself and Egroeg Evoli for your comments. Just a little bit of fun, glad you appreciated it. Not sure I really answered your question though, Satan.

I have no problem with it, Satan. To me, it’s simple. It can only be proof of God if you believe in God . But then there is the problem of the God of which Faith? Presuming that the producer in question was a Christian, he wasn’t saying it proved of the existence of the Hindi God (s) or any of those other Gods they consider Pagan, nor was he really saying it was proof of the Abrahamic God . He was saying they are proof of the Christian God . So once you break the statement down, it as actually a statement whose purpose is to reinforce the truth of his own beliefs – despite the fact that many of those belief have at various times denounced them.

He has taken something many of his Faith have had problems with, and at various times denounced and burnt their records, and attempted to bring it firmly into the fold by declaring it as evidence of the truth of that Faith.