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5.42pm
6 July 2016
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Just saw a letter John wrote to Cynthia on the US tour August 23rd 1965 (one day before the Peter Fonda She Said She Said incident). I hadn’t seen it before but maybe it’s in Hunter Davies book? Just thought it was interesting how emotional John was and how he mentioned feeling bad about not seeing Julian.
“It’s not much bother really, is it? When you think about it – cause I’m sure Dot (Dorothy Jarlett, the housekeeper at Weybridge) and Lil (Lillian Powell, Cynthia’s mother), Bengie, Tommy, wee Jocky etc. can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day. I don’t mean Julian tho’ – I mean don’t pack him off to Dot’s or anywhere – I really miss him as a person now – do you know what I mean – he’s not so much ‘The Baby’ or ‘my baby’ any more. He’s a real living part of me now, you know he’s Julian and everything and I can’t wait to see him, I miss him more than I’ve ever done before – I think its been a slow process my feeling like a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable.
I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I have wasted not being with him – and playing with him – you knew, I keep thinking of those stupid bastard times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other shit while he’s in the room with me and I’ve decided its ALL WRONG! He doesn’t see enough of me as it is and I really want him to know and love me and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much.
I’ll go now ’cause I’m bringing myself down thinking what a thoughtless bastard I seem to be – and its its only sort of three o’clock in the afternoon and its seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional – I really feel like crying – its stupid – and I’m choking up now as I’m writing – I don’t know whats the matter with me – Its not the tour thats so different from other tours – I mean I’m having lots of laughs (you know the type he! he!) but in between the laughs there is such a drop – I mean there seems no in-between feelings.
Anyway I’m going now so that this letter doesn’t get too draggy.
I love you very much.
To Cyn
from
John xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
PS. Say hello to Charles etc. from me.
P.P.S. I think you can ring me if you have a phone there
try – if not I’ll see you in about a week.
271-6565
LOS ANGELES
CALIFORNIA
P.P.S.
Its Monday the 23rd today and I leave this house next Monday the 30th of August – so try to phone”
Hopefully this link will work https://www.facebook.com/anna……7546237309
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SgtPeppersBulldog, Beatlebug, Shamrock Womlbs, ewe2, Von Bontee, GardeningOctopus, QuarryMan, penny lanePivotal Moments in Beatles History No.118: Yoko helps herself to one of George's digestives.
2.40am
24 March 2014
Offline Even when the acid trip was the next day it seems like he was not in the right mood for taking LSD anyways. I wonder what kind of experience he had in general, not only the Peter Fonda incident which was a kind of killjoy.
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SgtPeppersBulldog, Leppo"I Need You by George Harrison"
3.28am
8 January 2015
Offline So very in the emotional moment, isn’t it.
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LeppoI'm like Necko only I'm a bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin and also everyone. Or is everyone me? Now I'm a confused bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin everyone who is definitely not @Joe. This has been true for 2016 & 2017 
but I may have to get more specific in the future.
5.08pm
13 February 2018
Offline All I can say is
‘Aw bless him!’
A very honest and emotional letter. I think he must have had very conflicting feelings about his relationships with both Cynthia and Julian. It can’t have been easy.
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