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Funny/amusing John stories
11 January 2014
8.34pm
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parlance
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Today on Saturday with the Beatles, Denny Laine told about John.

He said he was at a club back in the '60s, and John asked the bartender what they had, and the bartender told him they had scotch.

"All right," said John.

"What kind of scotch do you want?"

"Well, I don't like scotch," said John, in that way he had, as Denny put it. "What else do you have?"

The bartender told him they had everything, including Coca-Cola, and John said, "Well, I'll have a scotch and coke."

So, John Lennon invented scotch and coke, as far as Denny's concerned. He tells a shorter version of the story here.

***********

I figured this didn't warrant its own thread, and having browsed all 18 pages of John topics, I'm surprised there isn't one for funny John stories. So I'm starting one. :->

parlance

Beware of sadness. It can hit you. It can hurt you. Make you sore and what is more, that is not what you are here for. - George

Check out my fan video for Paul's song "Appreciate" at Vimeo or YouTube.

16 January 2014
3.37am
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"I was back in New York a couple of months later in Soho, downtown, and a voice pipes up in my ear, 'Are you David Bowie'?, and I said, 'No, but I wish I had his money.' 

'You lying bastard. You wish you had my money.'

It was John Lennon ."

--David Bowie

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TheWalrusWasBrian, Beatlebug

"This Beatles talk bores me to death.” —John Lennon 

18 January 2014
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Musketeer Gripweed
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Since you brought up Bowie, it was John yelling Fame over a Carlos Alomar riff that brought bowies first billboard number one, Fame! Great song Johns vocals are at the end saying fame in different tempos. He was also Peter Boyles best man(Dad from everyone loves raymond) I know a guy who smoked them down on some joints in  76 I think after he bused there table at a restaurant. So, jealous. 

28 February 2014
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From a New Yorker named Michael Sinclair:

During my college summers I worked at a famous seafood restaurant in the Hamptons.... On July 5th 1976 when I was 21, John Lennon , Yoko, Peter Boyle, and a young women walked in for a late lunch. They were there to celebrate John becoming a Resident Alien and receiving his green card. After they had several lobsters and bottles of wine, I said to my boss Skip we need to party with them. I was told that I would be fired if I went near the table. I waited till John and Peter walked to the ocean. It was now after 4:00 and my shift was over. I hid in the dunes and then approached them and told them I had been their cook and asked if they had liked the lobsters. They could not have been nicer. I told them at the place where I worked we called good pot "Frank," in honor of Frank Sinatra. We figured if it was really good then Frank must have smoked it, also it made it real easy to be in a crowd and say to each other that Frank was outside and wanted to see you, instead of saying 'do you want to get high?' Both John and Peter started to laugh very hard. John told me that smoking almost kept him out of the USA. It was silent for a while, then John looked up and with a big smile said, "SO LET'S TALK TO FRANK."

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28 February 2014
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This is a bit crass, so I apologize, but I always found it funny. Norman tells the story in his book John Lennon : The Life about when John was an adolescent, how one of his friends (pretty sure it was Pete, but I don't recall 100%) made a bet that John couldn't ... um ... "Please Please" himself ten times in one day. If John won the bet, he was supposed to get something pretty major, like a television or a stereo or something. Point is, John failed, because he only got to nine, so he lost the bet.

Nine.

Nine.

Like, of course it was nine, right?

I've never been able to listen to "Revolution 9 " the same way since.

Not a bit like Cagney.

28 February 2014
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Ahhh Girl
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PeterWeatherby said
This is a bit crass, so I apologize, but I always found it funny. Norman tells the story in his book John Lennon : The Life about when John was an adolescent, how one of his friends (pretty sure it was Pete, but I don't recall 100%) made a bet that John couldn't ... um ... "Please Please" himself ten times in one day. If John won the bet, he was supposed to get something pretty major, like a television or a stereo or something. Point is, John failed, because he only got to nine, so he lost the bet.

Nine.

Nine.

Like, of course it was nine, right?

I've never been able to listen to "Revolution 9 " the same way since.

I don't have the book, but on this BB page, (Lennon and the number nine) someone commented that it was Pete. You are remembering correctly.

There is another notable instance in John:Lennon's life when the number 9 came up. This was in John's teenage years when his good friend, Pete Shotten, challenged him to a contest of which of them could masturbate 10 times in a single day. John failed to meet this very formidable challenge of "ten" - but only by one! Understandably, John was quite proud of what was to be his lifetime record of "nine times". And even by teenage boy standards, it is (IMHO) an impressive display of libido. Perhaps it's also early evidence of the powerful and potent Lennon imagination...

NOTE: Episode described on page 73 of the book, JOHN LENNON: THE LIFE (2008) by Philip Norman.

 

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10 March 2014
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This is not really a funny "John story," but it's one of John's habits that I think is funny...his habit of chewing gum while he sang.  He'll be singing something really emotional-sounding and then just chomp on his gum.

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Starr Shine?

"This Beatles talk bores me to death.” —John Lennon 

10 March 2014
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fabfouremily
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I'm surprised he could do it. I can barely even talk properly when chewing chewing-gum.

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Beatlebug

Moving along in our God given ways, safety is sat by the fire/Sanctuary from these feverish smiles, left with a mark on the door.

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10 March 2014
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Weren't both John and Paul chewing gum during "All You Need Is Love "?

parlance

Beware of sadness. It can hit you. It can hurt you. Make you sore and what is more, that is not what you are here for. - George

Check out my fan video for Paul's song "Appreciate" at Vimeo or YouTube.

10 March 2014
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fabfouremily
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parlance said
Weren't both John and Paul chewing gum during "All You Need Is Love "?

parlance

Yeah, I think so. Amazing.

 

Moving along in our God given ways, safety is sat by the fire/Sanctuary from these feverish smiles, left with a mark on the door.

(Passover - I. Curtis)

12 March 2014
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fabfouremily said

parlance said
Weren't both John and Paul chewing gum during "All You Need Is Love "?

parlance

Yeah, I think so. Amazing.

 

I wonder what kind.

You know my name you know number too
You know my name you know my number
What's up with you?

17 March 2014
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I was reading an interview with Julia Baird Johns half sister. She mentioned a funny time when they were visiting his house outside of London. He didn't have a license and wanted to practice driving. He asked if they wanted to come with him, he ended up driving all over the nicest country club in the areas golf course LOL. 

27 February 2019
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Expert Textpert said
This is not really a funny "John story," but it's one of John's habits that I think is funny...his habit of chewing gum while he sang.  He'll be singing something really emotional-sounding and then just chomp on his gum.

  

From here

"When he was a boy, John Lennon was reprimanded regularly for chewing gum in school. Eventually, he finished with school, but not with gum."

School blue-meanie

Gum   ahdn_john_08_gif

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27 February 2019
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Expert Textpert said
"I was back in New York a couple of months later in Soho, downtown, and a voice pipes up in my ear, 'Are you David Bowie'?, and I said, 'No, but I wish I had his money.' 

'You lying bastard. You wish you had my money.'

It was John Lennon ."

--David Bowie  

No, ExTex, you gotta tell the whole story. So David and John used to hang out a bit, and David observed that, when people would approach John and ask him, 'Are you John Lennon ?' he would respond with, 'No, but I wish I had his money.' Apparently, it worked. David, being the consummate 'borrower' ahdn_george_06 of excellent ideas that he was, immediately nicked this for his own use... culminating the the episode that you outline above. a-hard-days-night-ringo-8

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It verges from the sublime to the ridiculote

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27 February 2019
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TheWalrusWasBrian
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Beatlebug said

Expert Textpert said

"I was back in New York a couple of months later in Soho, downtown, and a voice pipes up in my ear, 'Are you David Bowie'?, and I said, 'No, but I wish I had his money.' 

'You lying bastard. You wish you had my money.'

It was John Lennon ."

--David Bowie  

No, ExTex, you gotta tell the whole story. So David and John used to hang out a bit, and David observed that, when people would approach John and ask him, 'Are you John Lennon ?' he would respond with, 'No, but I wish I had his money.' Apparently, it worked. David, being the consummate 'borrower' ahdn_george_06 of excellent ideas that he was, immediately nicked this for his own use... culminating the the episode that you outline above. a-hard-days-night-ringo-8

  

This story is just so amazing. #friendshipgoals

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