Get Your Beatles Puns here! | Page 2 | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

Paul’s daughter Heather got stuck, so he told everyone, “All tug Heather, now!”

John Travolta pronounced Idina Menzel’s name as Adele Dazeem. But did you know that Adele Dazeem is a real person? She even has a sister. This other Dazeem is Lizzy.

Fern never let people do favors for her because she didn’t want to have to do favors for them in return. But when she refused to accept her lost purse when her friend tried to return it, the friend sighed, shook her head, and said, “Fern. Owe one.”

A young hiker was incredibly surprised to discover that a group of bears in the forest had set up a community. He was even more surprised to find that the bears used gold as their main source of food. When he asked one of the bears (who could conveniently speak English) how they manged to afford this, the bear pointed towards a crowded, dirty part of the bear town and said, “There’s no gold in slum bears.”

When asked what his name was, Eamine replied, “I’m Eamine.” 

Jared Jazz (a famous jazz musician) died, so his favorite trumpet, Toot, went up for auction. Dave’s wife, Elle, was a huge fan, so Dave went to the auction to try to get the trumpet for her, and he did. When he got home, he proudly declared, “I won Toot, Elle! You didn’t think I would, but I did!”

Bob went to a restaurant where they made toast out of animals. He ordered Bison Pumpernickel, but they didn’t have any left, so he ordered Elk Rye instead.

All the hotels in Oddville had height requirements for guests, but a new inn that had opened didn’t have these restrictions. Sally told her friend Earl, who had come to visit, “Go to the inn, Earl. Height doesn’t matter there.”

Rob was a Jew. Leah was a Christian. They didn’t care about religious differences. In fact, they appreciated each other more for their differences. They fell in love, got married, and had three kids, who got to have double the presents since they celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah. 

Sarah discovers a new band almost every day, but the one she always favors is the first band she discovered. Even today, she’ll tell you, “I love U2.”

Terry Torr had always dreamed of becoming a world-famous magician, and her dreams came true when she was billed as “Magical Miss: Terry Torr.”

The fossil of a new species of dinosaur, the Myde, was discovered. It was a very brittle bone, and the archaeologists decided that it came from the inner ear of the dinosaur. They had to be very careful while handling it, because they didn’t want to mar the Myde ear.

Brian Turr and his sister, Laura, took care of many sheep. When people asked them why, Brian said, “It’s our calling. Me and Miss Turr must herd them.”

Jin had determined that one of two couples had murdered her brother. It was either Mike and Mary or Darrell and Lisa. When Jin told them, Mike replied, “‘Twas not they nor we, Jin. Would you really expect nice people like us to murder someone?” (I know, I didn’t put the parenthetical part. Sue me.)

Devon tried to explain to Fred why they couldn’t breathe on the moon by using scientific-sounding words, but when Fred’s slightly confused expression changed to an absolutely befuddled expression, Devon simply said, “No air, man.”

Ryder ripped the back cover off of 20 books in his school library. The librarian said, “You’re going to have to pay per back, Ryder.”

I’ll stop now. Sorry for doing so many, I was on a roll.