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Get Your Beatles Puns here!
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2 March 2015
9.26pm
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Zig
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In my younger days, I had a female friend who would make fun of all my gilfriends. She was a date ripper.

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ewe2, Beatlebug, Mr. Kite, Necko

To the fountain of perpetual mirth, let it roll for all its worth. And all the children boogie.

2 March 2015
10.09pm
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chrisredditch
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Down on the farm, someone was walking all over the cut grass.

I shouted "Hay Food! Don't make it bad!"

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Ahhh Girl

The Beatles are English - They have influences from all over - but they are English

3 March 2015
1.06am
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C.R.A.
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A country man showed me leather goods he was making on a wooden bench.  I asked if it was a sawhorse tanning deer.

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Zig, Mr. Kite

“Send John out first; he’s the one they want.”

~ someone said it, dammit.

Memphis, 1966

3 March 2015
1.15am
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C.R.A.
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A guy was standing on a corner, riffing Chuck Berry lyrics.  He got them wrong, but I think I preferred his roll over verbatim.

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Beatlebug

“Send John out first; he’s the one they want.”

~ someone said it, dammit.

Memphis, 1966

3 March 2015
1.21am
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Beatlebug
Find me where ye echo lays
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C.R.A. whispered mysteriously 
A country man showed me leather goods he was making on a wooden bench.  I asked if it was a sawhorse tanning deer.

"I'm afraid ah don't oundastand." George, AHDN  ahdn_paul_06

Everybody's talking, but no one says a word - John Lennon
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3 March 2015
1.24am
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C.R.A.
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Silly Girl said

C.R.A. whispered mysteriously 
A country man showed me leather goods he was making on a wooden bench.  I asked if it was a sawhorse tanning deer.

"I'm afraid ah don't oundastand." George, AHDN  ahdn_paul_06

paul-mccartney

“Send John out first; he’s the one they want.”

~ someone said it, dammit.

Memphis, 1966

3 March 2015
1.33am
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ewe2
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In planning his private zoo a friend of mine wasn't sure of a few details of where to put his prize parrots and rabbits to lead a better life. He said the "hare there and aviary where?"

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Beatlebug, Mr. Kite

I'm like Necko only I'm a bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin and also everyone. Or is everyone me? Now I'm a confused bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin everyone who is definitely not @Joe.  This has been true for 2016 & 2017 Sig-Badge.png but I may have to get more specific in the future.

3 March 2015
1.58am
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Beatlebug
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ewe2 indicated precisely what s/he meant to say 
In planning his private zoo a friend of mine wasn't sure of a few details of where to put his prize parrots and rabbits to lead a better life. He said the "hare there and aviary where?"

LAUGHING MY EYES OUT!!!!!!!!! paul-mccartney

Can somebody, not just anybody, help me figure out just what this means? "A country man showed me leather goods he was making on a wooden bench.  I asked if it was a sawhorse tanning deer." 

 

The Night Before , I was dashing between cooking supper and sneaking peeks at the Beatles Bible. So, as you might expect, I burned the food and it ended up tasting like a Rubber Soul from an Old Brown Shoe . (I know-- bit of a recycled joke. But it's my best effort at decomposition right now; I'm So Tired , Because it's been A Hard Day's Night . Do I sound like hongkonglady?) 

"Try to do the cooking, 

Do you always burn the dishes when washing's my turn? 

While you're multitasking, 

Run a risk of knowing that the food may soon be burnt. 

We Can Scrape It Out!!" 

Everybody's talking, but no one says a word - John Lennon
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3 March 2015
2.35am
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ewe2
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It means, "I Saw Her Standing There ", @Beatlebug. Took me a few goes to get it myself.

A friend was very pleased with a bargain she got with her shopping. She told me she'd been "lucky in this guy with dye, man".

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Beatlebug

I'm like Necko only I'm a bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin and also everyone. Or is everyone me? Now I'm a confused bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin everyone who is definitely not @Joe.  This has been true for 2016 & 2017 Sig-Badge.png but I may have to get more specific in the future.

3 March 2015
3.56am
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Necko
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Silly Girl said

C.R.A. whispered mysteriously 
A country man showed me leather goods he was making on a wooden bench.  I asked if it was a sawhorse tanning deer.

"I'm afraid ah don't oundastand." George, AHDN  ahdn_paul_06

Neither do I.

I'm Necko.  I'm like Ringo except I wear necklaces.

I'm also ewe2 on weekends.

Most likely to post things that make you go hmm... 2015, 2016, 2017. 

3 March 2015
4.13am
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C.R.A.
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*sigh* Well, I was trying to be creative.  Sorry for the confusion.  Maybe sawhorse is colloquial.

A sawhorse bench:

Image Enlarger

Tanning deerhide leather (doesn't have to come from cows).

Image Enlarger

a sawhorse tanning deer

I Saw Her Standing There

“Send John out first; he’s the one they want.”

~ someone said it, dammit.

Memphis, 1966

3 March 2015
4.55am
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Necko
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Oh, okay.  I got the sawhorse part and all.  I just didn't catch the Beatles part of it.

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Beatlebug

I'm Necko.  I'm like Ringo except I wear necklaces.

I'm also ewe2 on weekends.

Most likely to post things that make you go hmm... 2015, 2016, 2017. 

3 March 2015
2.14pm
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Ahhh Girl
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After dealing with the conspiracy theories, especially the one about all of the others EXCEPT Paul being dead:

Baby, you're a dead man.
Baby, you're a dead man.
Baby, you're a dead man, too.

3 March 2015
2.18pm
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Starr Shine?
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You keep all your money in a small hand bag inside a grave, no one was saved.

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Ahhh Girl, Beatlebug

https://youtu.be/52nwiTs7bk8

Brainwashed by RadiantCowbells.

If you can't log in and can't use the forum go here and someone will help you out.

6 March 2015
12.17am
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Beatlebug
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True story: I was playing Revolver and my sister kept hitting the pause button. No idea why. I told her, "Leave My Buttons Alone!" 

Everybody's talking, but no one says a word - John Lennon
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6 March 2015
10.32pm
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Zig
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The Beatles were good friends with singer Alma Cogan. When they were feeling low, they could count on Alma loving to lift their spirits.

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ewe2, Beatlebug, chrisredditch

To the fountain of perpetual mirth, let it roll for all its worth. And all the children boogie.

7 March 2015
1.53am
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ewe2
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Rishikesh
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I was making pancakes for breakfast and thought "you know, it's getting batter".

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Beatlebug, Zig

I'm like Necko only I'm a bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin and also everyone. Or is everyone me? Now I'm a confused bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin everyone who is definitely not @Joe.  This has been true for 2016 & 2017 Sig-Badge.png but I may have to get more specific in the future.

8 March 2015
6.50am
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Egroeg Evoli
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Paul's daughter Heather got stuck, so he told everyone, "All tug Heather, now!"

John Travolta pronounced Idina Menzel's name as Adele Dazeem. But did you know that Adele Dazeem is a real person? She even has a sister. This other Dazeem is Lizzy.

Fern never let people do favors for her because she didn't want to have to do favors for them in return. But when she refused to accept her lost purse when her friend tried to return it, the friend sighed, shook her head, and said, "Fern. Owe one."

A young hiker was incredibly surprised to discover that a group of bears in the forest had set up a community. He was even more surprised to find that the bears used gold as their main source of food. When he asked one of the bears (who could conveniently speak English) how they manged to afford this, the bear pointed towards a crowded, dirty part of the bear town and said, "There's no gold in slum bears."

When asked what his name was, Eamine replied, "I'm Eamine." 

Jared Jazz (a famous jazz musician) died, so his favorite trumpet, Toot, went up for auction. Dave's wife, Elle, was a huge fan, so Dave went to the auction to try to get the trumpet for her, and he did. When he got home, he proudly declared, "I won Toot, Elle! You didn't think I would, but I did!"

Bob went to a restaurant where they made toast out of animals. He ordered Bison Pumpernickel, but they didn't have any left, so he ordered Elk Rye instead.

All the hotels in Oddville had height requirements for guests, but a new inn that had opened didn't have these restrictions. Sally told her friend Earl, who had come to visit, "Go to the inn, Earl. Height doesn't matter there."

Rob was a Jew. Leah was a Christian. They didn't care about religious differences. In fact, they appreciated each other more for their differences. They fell in love, got married, and had three kids, who got to have double the presents since they celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah. 

Sarah discovers a new band almost every day, but the one she always favors is the first band she discovered. Even today, she'll tell you, "I love U2."

Terry Torr had always dreamed of becoming a world-famous magician, and her dreams came true when she was billed as "Magical Miss: Terry Torr."

The fossil of a new species of dinosaur, the Myde, was discovered. It was a very brittle bone, and the archaeologists decided that it came from the inner ear of the dinosaur. They had to be very careful while handling it, because they didn't want to mar the Myde ear.

Brian Turr and his sister, Laura, took care of many sheep. When people asked them why, Brian said, "It's our calling. Me and Miss Turr must herd them."

Jin had determined that one of two couples had murdered her brother. It was either Mike and Mary or Darrell and Lisa. When Jin told them, Mike replied, "'Twas not they nor we, Jin. Would you really expect nice people like us to murder someone?" (I know, I didn't put the parenthetical part. Sue me.)

Devon tried to explain to Fred why they couldn't breathe on the moon by using scientific-sounding words, but when Fred's slightly confused expression changed to an absolutely befuddled expression, Devon simply said, "No air, man."

Ryder ripped the back cover off of 20 books in his school library. The librarian said, "You're going to have to pay per back, Ryder."

I'll stop now. Sorry for doing so many, I was on a roll.

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ewe2, parlance, Starr Shine?, Beatlebug, Merch

Also known as Egg-Rock, Egg-Roll, E-George, Eggy, Ravioli, Eggroll Eggrolli...

~witty quote~

8 March 2015
2.53pm
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ewe2
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Ow, some of those puns were so obscure yet painful :D Well done @Egroeg Evoli

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parlance, Beatlebug, Egroeg Evoli

I'm like Necko only I'm a bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin and also everyone. Or is everyone me? Now I'm a confused bassist ukulele guitar synthesizer kazoo penguin everyone who is definitely not @Joe.  This has been true for 2016 & 2017 Sig-Badge.png but I may have to get more specific in the future.

8 March 2015
3.27pm
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Linde
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Some of these are so bad yet so hilarious.

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