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The All-Purpose Getting-To-Know-BBers Questions Thread
9 April 2020
11.44am
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50yearslate
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20 is obviously not that far off from 19 but it just feels different, you know? Like it has a weight to it. It feels older.

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9 April 2020
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Beatlebug
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50yearslate said
20 is obviously not that far off from 19 but it just feels different, you know? Like it has a weight to it. It feels older.

Believe me, I know ahdn_paul_01 I'll never be a teenager again. paul-mccartney

tho considering how maligned (sometimes rightfully) teenagers are, maybe that's not such a bad thing – I think I can come around to Not Being A Teenager Anymore. It might take a week or two, though. My best friend's birthday is a week after mine, though, so we have 19-going-on-20 solidarity. a-hard-days-night-ringo-15

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9 April 2020
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a-hard-days-night-ringo-8That all just made me realize that a good bit of my friends will be turning 20 or 19 this year, as well. Ew that's so weird. Like only a 1-2 years ago I was in marching band and drama club and swim team with them, goofing around, and now they're graduated and adults. And my brother is turning 25 and in a few months time it'll be my last year of high school.......I feel an existential crisis coming on.....gross......

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9 April 2020
4.02pm
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A lot of my friends are 1-5 years older than I am, the one whose birthday is a week after mine and another whose birthday is not quite four months after mine are the only younger ones (but they're more mature than I am in soul years, lol), so it's not too scary. Of course, we're all homeschooled so we're moving through the transitions of teenagehood(?)-into-adulthood more fluidly than we would in conventional education.

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9 April 2020
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CakeMaestor said

The Hole Got Fixed said

CakeMaestor said

I suppose I'm quite young, at the ripe old age of 18 this year - 17 if we are going by birthdays.

How does that work? Do you turn 1 when you're born, not 0?

Ah no, I mean that I am at the age of 18 if we are counting the age of an invididual by year. However, as I haven't reached my birthday yet, I am at the age of 17 if we are counting it by the birthdate of an invididual.

Ahhh right that makes sense!john-lennon-salute_gif

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9 April 2020
7.09pm
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Beatlebug said
A lot of my friends are 1-5 years older than I am, the one whose birthday is a week after mine and another whose birthday is not quite four months after mine are the only younger ones (but they're more mature than I am in soul years, lol), so it's not too scary. Of course, we're all homeschooled so we're moving through the transitions of teenagehood(?)-into-adulthood more fluidly than we would in conventional education.

Im baby in my grade so most of my classmates are older than me by at least a bit but I also have plenty of good friends in lower grades. I probably have more younger friends than older friends to be honest. So I'll be the one freaking them out hehehe.

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9 April 2020
7.31pm
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lovelyritametermaid
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Literally 90% of my friends are seniors. I have a couple in my own grade and I get along pleasantly enough with peers younger than me.

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10 April 2020
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Most of my friends are my age up to about three years older, but my work friends are generally over 5 years older. It's kind of a bizarre switch to go from hanging out with people my own age who are interested in stuff that two years ago would've seemed very adult (mostly clubbing and campus politics) to people for whom all that stuff is way in the past and seems almost childish.

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10 April 2020
4.59am
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Eww campus politics. Our Student Union was rubbish, the 4 years I was there, they campaigned for nothing of use. Spent money on stupid sh*t, instead of putting it towards increasing resources for students.

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10 April 2020
7.34am
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*rocks on the porch*

You'll have heard this before but the numbers really aren't the point, people are different based on their maturity and personality. I was just as hung up about the numbers as anyone when I was in my teens and 20's and it's just as dumb to me now as it will no doubt be to you in the future ahdn_john_08_gif

*something about onions which was the style of the time*

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10 April 2020
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AppleScruffJunior said
Eww campus politics. Our Student Union was rubbish, the 4 years I was there, they campaigned for nothing of use. Spent money on stupid sh*t, instead of putting it towards increasing resources for students.

Exact same thing. Ours is so unaccountable and out of touch with actual students that several people I've spoken to hadn't even realised a) that the SU is separate from the university itself and b) that it exists, supposedly, for the purpose of representing our interests. Ironically, in several instances it has been a case of the students themselves versus the SU, which has narrowly been stopped several times from selling off multiple of the amenities which actually benefit students.

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10 April 2020
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Our ones they couldn't get more 'dropped on their head as children' if they tried. So few people voted in the elections all you needed was about 40 acquaintances to campaign for you and you'd win (also if you brought a dog on campus you'd win).

The infantilising in the SU was unreal.

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10 April 2020
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AppleScruffJunior said
(also if you brought a dog on campus you'd win)

Sounds about right.

However, I would just vote for the dog ngl.

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10 April 2020
11.28am
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The dog would make better decisions than the SU President did.

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13 April 2020
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*peeks head in* Is this question/discussion still going?a-hard-days-night-paul-10 I hope so, 'cause I thought it was interesting and wanted to put in my two cents. ahdn_paul_01

I'm 17 now, but I'll be turning 18 this December, which is a bit mind-boggling to me. Am I ready for the kind of responsibilities and expectations that come with being that age? Do I want to think about that???a-hard-days-night-ringo-14

As for the whole age-of-your-friends thing, I'm a bit all over the place because of you guys being so varied. I may have mentioned before, but I don't particularly have any definite friends IRL, so you're the overwhelming majority of my buddies. john-lennon-salute_gif Though, it's kind of hard to really come up with a strict and universal definition of a "friend". After all, how do you know exactly where the line is drawn between a friend and something more like an acquaintance? And is it not a little different from person to person? What if you believe someone to be a friend or an acquaintance, but you're uncertain about exactly what the other person thinks? It's all very confusing sometimes (well, for me, at least). a-hard-days-night-ringo-13 Take, for example, a few of my former co-workers. We do get along well, and share some similarities despite the age differences, but could I really consider them to be my friends? Likely no, but what would they think? What do they see me as?a-hard-days-night-paul-10

I think that's a big part of the issue sometimes with friends and what other kinds of relationships people have, the whole age thing. Yes, it does generally make sense to hang around with people close to your age, as you're more likely to be similar in a few ways, but what about people that are a little further apart in age? I feel that people aren't so accepting of that sort of thing, and while there are situations where it's definitely very weird, I find it kind of sad that that's what some people may think, even regardless of the situation. Overall, I agree with ewe2's sentiment:

You'll have heard this before but the numbers really aren't the point, people are different based on their maturity and personality.

So what if I were to be friends with someone that is older or younger than I am? Do our ages really matter that much if we get along well, have common interests, enjoy being in each other's company, are at compatible levels of maturity, and the relationship doesn't have a weird context (e.g. they're some rando from off the street)??? I just wish some people were a little more open, is all.

Oops, sorry if I went on a bit of a tangent there.ahdn_paul_01Anyway, if you don't mind me asking, what are your thoughts on the matter?

And should this maybe be moved to a different thread? I just wanna make sure there isn't a better thread for this before a discussion takes place here. a-hard-days-night-paul-10

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Huh, never responded to ages of my friends.

I'm pretty consistent, 80% of my friends are plus/minus a year of me. I do however have a few friends that are younger than me.

@WeepingAtlasCedars said

And should this maybe be moved to a different thread? I just wanna make sure there isn't a better thread for this before a discussion takes place here. a-hard-days-night-paul-10


mmm posted on behalf of the mods:

meanmistermustard said
For anyone wondering. Dingle Lad's post here (#5844) is in reference to a thread that was discussing and polling forum user's ages. As this can be covered in here I have moved his and all replies so far (up to #5853) over. I don't believe in editing posts others write so have not.

So yes, this is definitely the right threadjohn-lennon-salute_gif

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13 April 2020
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WeepyC, I've always gotten along well with people older than myself, although due to life stages, etc. the only people I could really consider my friends are people around my age. I think age doesn't matter as much as soul years (my two friends who are a bit younger than I are both a bit older in soul years, I think) and life experience, but very often if you're a child/teen it's difficult to be IRL friends with adults because they are at a different stage of their lives and busy with work, family, etc. (where the life experience comes in).

As I've posted about elsewhere, I've always drawn sharp distinctions between friends and acquaintances, because I give people a lot when I consider them friends and so I'm going to reserve that for the people who are most appreciative and reciprocate to a good extent. I'm not sure how I draw this line -- I think it's a time-testing thing that involves a certain threshold of communication frequency (if we're having extensive email conversations and sharing all sorts of stuff we're up to, etc. as well as meeting in person [during non-plague years] and generally making the continued effort to stay in each other's lives, then it's probably friends).

Online it's a bit hazier, as we are such a close-knit community that it's easy to say I consider you all my friends, but obviously there are some users I have more in common with, speak to most often, and am most likely to PM outside of regular discussions, etc. (You know who you are. ahdn_george_06)

Anyway, I think the point of my ramble is I see no problem with friends of different ages, but I think that, due to the circumstances of Real Life, it often works out better online. And also, I hate to say this, but it behooves a young person to be aware that there are people out there whose friendship overtures will not be sincere and who have ulterior motives.

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13 April 2020
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Who cares what age the person is? If you get on with each other then good. If others have a problem then that's up to them.

I have no idea about what was asked by @WeepingAtlasCedars.

I seem to get on ok with most people but have next to no true friends and neither does it bother me that much (that doesn't mean I don't have low moments but I've been in situations of being around people for the sake of company and it was just as miserable). I don't crave company in that I don't believe my life would be one iota better if I was sitting in their company or had them on WhatApp to talk to, if anything it would feel more like an inconvenience as I like having the ability to do whatever I do and if it changes so be it. I like the quiet. I'm very happy to go along with anything but I also like being able to go and do something else if it doesn't work at that time. I also despise small talk, have no interest in it and make so little effort to participate. I'll walk away during conversations as I can't stand there being that bored. I don't care that folk went to Glasgow yesterday and bought a sandwich then watched a riveting programme on TV, sorry but I don't. Life is mainly dull and talking about that dullness will never make it interesting.

I don't think how I am as a person helps, however. I'm far more interested in honesty than saying something as it's nice and I have far more respect for those who are the same, but that doesn't always go well in a society where many people want polite pleasantries; this leads to being very direct and upfront and people back away from that. The one thing I won't have is people lying to me, don't bullshit me. I do get told at times at my work that it's ok to not be so honest at times as I will speak when it would be far more sensible to be quiet.

Basically I'm easy going but incredibly stubborn. Open but deeply reserved. Polite but direct and abrupt. Very quiet but very vocal. Helpful but restrained. Lazy but active.

So there is a lot of rambling without actually having anything to do with the question.

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13 April 2020
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meanmistermustard said

Basically I'm easy going but incredibly stubborn. Open but deeply reserved. Polite but direct and abrupt. Very quiet but very vocal. Helpful but restrained. Lazy but active.

I get what you're saying entirely, and I think I'm very much the same way in my real-life relationships. I usually am fine with going with the flow, but I become very stubborn if I feel like someone has done me wrong or is trying to get me to do something for their own benefit (this is probably rooted in the fact that I'm terrified of being so easygoing that I become a social bath mat and just let people walk all over me-- which has happened before). I'm very open with the right people at appropriate times, but I still have very thick walls that I only let down for very special people in my life that I know I can absolutely trust-- I could never be one of those people to just spill their deepest darkest heaviest insecurities and emotions to someone who I was friends with for a month or so. I make an effort to be very polite and friendly to acquaintances and strangers (unless they're present themselves off the bat as downright assholes), but I'm very honest with my friends (some call me 'brutally honest') and some people really can't handle that, even if I'm being honest in their own best interests. I've lost a few friends that way, but I've gotten over that. I'm quiet most of the time but extremely vocal if I feel I have something important to say (I'm not afraid to give someone the what-for or be affirmative and authoritative in the appropriate circumstances-- its what earned me my leadership positions, being able to be calm and helpful and personable yet direct and having a take-no-bullshit attitude.

I don't think how I am as a person helps, however. I'm far more interested in honesty than saying something as it's nice and I have far more respect for those who are the same, but that doesn't always go well in a society where many people want polite pleasantries; this leads to being very direct and upfront and people back away from that. The one thing I won't have is people lying to me, don't bullshit me. I do get told at times at my work that it's ok to not be so honest at times as I will speak when it would be far more sensible to be quiet.

I very much relate. As I said before, I'm off-the-cuff very polite with strangers (as long as they reciprocate the politeness), but have no problem calling out someone's bullshit, especially if it's one of my friends who I believe is making idiotic decisions. And I hate when people lie to me just for the purpose of not getting on my bad side. If you have a problem with me, just fecking tell me! I'd much rather have someone honestly dislike me then be fake nice to me so that they don't look bad.

When it comes to friendships, I really don't care about a person's age, I just care about if they respect me and they give me reason enough to respect them and they're overall an honest, trustworthy, mature person that I can have decent conversation with. I get along very well with my coworkers, and I was the youngest out of them (as of last summer, this summer there are going to be a lot of out-of-sophomore-year rookies, god-willing). I was just very mature and respectful, I didn't force myself into the conversation, but at the same time I didn't hold back, either. I showed them that just because I was a teenage rookie, that didn't mean I wasn't mature enough to act like an adult (my one coworker told me that I would never get carded at a bar and one lady thought I was the manager).

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