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Poetry
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McLennonSon
In the middle of the roundabout
813 Posts
(Offline)
21
31 July 2011 - 7.58pm

a-hard-days-night-ringo-8a-hard-days-night-ringo-8 REALLY GOOD!!!!!

 

I wish I could write that good. a-hard-days-night-paul-3

My Music Blog.
One and one don't make two
One and one make one.

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MeanMrsMustard
Nowhere Land
2716 Posts
(Offline)
22
1 August 2011 - 4.52am

Well, I've got a poem that I was planning to turn into a song, but it's too short.

If I could make him love me,
Would I change his mind?
Is that the kind of thing I'd do?

Isn't his love so much sweeter
When it's freely given
And so much more true?

If I could, I wouldn't
I'd never force his heart
Though I would die
Each moment we're apart.

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

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GniknuS
Rain? I don't mind
1327 Posts
(Offline)
23
1 August 2011 - 5.37am

Nice job Sun King, I think you could space out the syllables at the end and add a little bit.
I want to write one about the Beatles Bible and how it differs from other sites, so here's one Johnny and the Moondogs on the spot. I'm a cheesy writer so I apologize in advance…a-hard-days-night-george-10

From the four corners we gather,
these words planning their escape from my head.
We walk the streets unnoticed,
the spindle weaving life upon this thread. (puns are fun)

What seperates this engaging site;
this one from all the rest?
The tangles of confusion leaves a Internet divided,
those simply arguing at their own behest.

Masks of persuasiveness are most certainly donned,
perhaps how we would like to be shown?
For every Mr. Big claiming his rightful prowess,
leaves a hint of deception not fully known.

Then how lucky I am to have found you!
I was just so fully entwined.
Like the slaying of a dragon or some miraculous feat,
the type of search that leaves most resigned.

So the gratitude is quietly flowing,
the drain unplugged as it washes over the floor.
Keeping my spirits high with a quip or a post,
Oh Beatles Bible sounding board!

So here's to you that have listened,
when my heart was in need of amends.
The web would undoubtedly be a much happier place,
filled with a thousand like mithveaens!

Eh, I like a few lines but I'll rework it eventually.

Edit, just saw yours MMM and great job, as well as McLennonSon on the previous page. That one about knowledge was mine, I was too sheepish to admit it though.

I think it would be cool if we could make suggestions for others, obviously writing is a personal thing and no one likes criticism, but if you see something that needs reworking on mine please let me know! Also, I'm finding out that it's very hard to read what I've wrote and keep editing it on an iPod.

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine

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mithveaen
Sitarday's room
4618 Posts
(Offline)
24
1 August 2011 - 2.54pm

That was very nice Zig thank you! and yeah I feel the same about this place.

 

I wish I could write poetry. a-hard-days-night-ringo-4

Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……

Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…

Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.

Beware of Darkness… 

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mr. Sun king coming together
Nowhere Land
6429 Posts
(Offline)
25
1 September 2011 - 11.37pm

Here's one of mine:
Why is it over?
What have I done?
Was it that fateful night,
The night I wish had never occurred?
Was it the Madame, the lady I love,
Or should I say used to love?
I'm Getting Closer, but it isn't done,
Because my love, I need you,
I need you to know,
Our love isn't over.

As if it matters how a man falls down.'

'When the fall's all that's left, it matters a great deal.

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CranberrySauce
Sitting on a Corn Flake
398 Posts
(Offline)
26
2 September 2011 - 1.47am

This little limerick is a favorite of mine:

 

I once knew a man from Peru,

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He awoke in a fright, 

In the middle of the night,

And found it was perfectly true!

The following people thank CranberrySauce for this post:

Oudis
Because the wind is high, it blows my mind.
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Egroeg Evoli
Across the universe
1805 Posts
(Offline)
27
7 March 2013 - 3.01am

I once wrote a somewhat depressing poem called "Eight Minutes Ago"... but I don't remember it. a-hard-days-night-paul-7

Maybe if I remember it- or if I write something else- I'll post it here.

Also known as Egg-Rock, Egg-Roll, E-George, Eggy, Ravioli, Eggroll Eggrolli...

~witty quote~

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Ron Nasty
5563 Posts
(Offline)
28
7 March 2013 - 4.11am

Hadn't noticed this thread before. Here's one of mine.

Your Hands

Your hands clasped,
prayers for tomorrow?
Your hands holding
out hope for something beyond night
after night
after night.
Your hands reaching
through this pervading darkness,
the candle flickers.
Your hands searching,
match poised,
aiming always to breathe light
into light.
Your hands touching,
but never me,
never mine,
never mind.

"I only said we were bigger than Rod... and now there's all this!" Ron Nasty

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Egroeg Evoli
Across the universe
1805 Posts
(Offline)
29
7 March 2013 - 4.12am

a-hard-days-night-ringo-8 Wow. That's amazing. Nice job. apple01

 

Also known as Egg-Rock, Egg-Roll, E-George, Eggy, Ravioli, Eggroll Eggrolli...

~witty quote~

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Egroeg Evoli
Across the universe
1805 Posts
(Offline)
30
7 March 2013 - 4.41am

Spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment poem with no revisions:

River

How can something so simple be so complicated?

Rushing down a mountain,

Frigid and fast.

Swiftly moving through the forest

Like a breeze.

Murky, dark waters of the night.

Waterfalls,

Small streams,

All coming together and

Rushing into the salty sea.

Rain drizzling onto the surface,

Droplets splashing.

Twisting and turning,

Living and breathing,

A life of its own,

Yet lifeless.

Ever-changing, ever the same...

How can something so simple be so complicated?

Also known as Egg-Rock, Egg-Roll, E-George, Eggy, Ravioli, Eggroll Eggrolli...

~witty quote~

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Ron Nasty
5563 Posts
(Offline)
31
7 March 2013 - 5.49am

Love it, Eg-ro-eg Evo-li! If that was a first draft of one of mine, I'd be fighting the urge to change it, and hopefully winning. Thanks for your comment about mine. I might put some more up, but lots of them are quite dark and I worry what people might think. I also hate the spacing. How did those on the first page of this thread manage to get single line spacing? I tried it by running the lines on, and when I posted it it just looked awful and all over the place.

"I only said we were bigger than Rod... and now there's all this!" Ron Nasty

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Egroeg Evoli
Across the universe
1805 Posts
(Offline)
32
7 March 2013 - 5.54am

mja6758 said
Love it, Eg-ro-eg Evo-li!

:D

If that was a first draft of one of mine, I'd be fighting the urge to change it, and hopefully winning.

It was hard not to change it, since I obsess over the smallest things in my writing.

Thanks for your comment about mine. I might put some more up, but lots of them are quite dark and I worry what people might think.

I like dark poetry, and I'd love to read some more of your poetry.

I also hate the spacing. How did those on the first page of this thread manage to get single line spacing? I tried it by running the lines on, and when I posted it it just looked awful and all over the place.

Hold down shift when you press enter for single spacing.

 

Also known as Egg-Rock, Egg-Roll, E-George, Eggy, Ravioli, Eggroll Eggrolli...

~witty quote~

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Egroeg Evoli
Across the universe
1805 Posts
(Offline)
33
7 March 2013 - 6.27am

Here is a random haiku that I read/heard somewhere:

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

The following people thank Egroeg Evoli for this post:

Bulldog

Also known as Egg-Rock, Egg-Roll, E-George, Eggy, Ravioli, Eggroll Eggrolli...

~witty quote~

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LongHairedLady
coming in through the bathroom window
2098 Posts
(Offline)
34
7 March 2013 - 7.02am

Egroeg Evoli said
Here is a random haiku that I read/heard somewhere:

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

a-hard-days-night-john-6Love this!

 

PS:  Every time this thread pops up I think of "We ain't written no poetry.."  

"Please don't bring your banjo back, I know where it's been..  I wasn't hardly gone a day, when it became the scene..  Banjos!  Banjos!  All the time, I can't forget that tune..  and if I ever see another banjo, I'm going out and buy a big balloon!"

 

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Funny Paper
America
2080 Posts
(Offline)
35
7 March 2013 - 9.10am

Many years ago I found a book of haikus, collected by an editor who was an expert in the art form -- and he claimed that it's a fallacy to think they have to be structured by 5-7-5 syllables, since in Japanese, syllables are different from English.

With that in mind, here are some of the haikus from that book I liked.  If any readers here are stuck with the definition of haiku as having the syllabic structure, just think of these as short pithy poems:

 

I hear her sew
I hear the rain
I turn back a page.

(Lorraine Ellis Harr)

 

The sparkler goes out
and with it -- the face
of the child.

(Bob Boldman)

 

buttoning his fly
the boy with honeysuckle
clenched in his mouth

(Alexis Rotella)

 

Trying to forget him
stabbing
the potatoes

_________________

His footsteps in the room
above me: slowly
I brush my hair

__________________

Opening his dresser drawer --
darkness slips out

(Janice Bostok)

 

foetus kicks
the sky to the east
brilliant

(Chuck Brickley)

 

broken bowl
the pieces
still rocking

(William J. Higginson)

 

writing again
the tea water
boiled dry

(Gary Hotham)

 

sun & moon
in the same sky
the small hand of my wife

(Foster Jewell)

 

In my medicine cabinet
the winter fly
has died of old age.

(Alexis Rotella)

 

Moving
through the criteria --
a breeze.

(Robert Spiess)

 

Swinging on the hanger
her white summer dress:
wind chimes.

__________________

At the end of
myself
pencil tip

__________________

Mental hospital my shadow
stays outside

__________________

red flipped out
chicken lung
in a cold white sink

(Anita Virgil)

 

in the doll's head
news clippings

__________________

face wrapping a champagne glass

(Eric Amann)

 

with the last lamp
stripping
her shadow off

(Marlene Mountain)

 

The following people thank Funny Paper for this post:

Oudis

Faded flowers, wait in a jar, till the evening is complete... complete... complete... complete...

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Gerard
683 Posts
(Offline)
36
7 March 2013 - 11.59am

EDIT: Hello there, looking back at this made me cringe a lot. 7 January 2016.

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Ron Nasty
5563 Posts
(Offline)
37
7 March 2013 - 12.07pm

Enjoyed very much. Just one question - I Me Mine, 2nd stanza 3rd line, should that be "rocker" to rhyme with "mocker" in the 4th line, instead of same word repeated? Just wondered.

"I only said we were bigger than Rod... and now there's all this!" Ron Nasty

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Gerard
683 Posts
(Offline)
38
7 March 2013 - 12.28pm

Yep it's rocker =o, I wrote it on paper probably messed up in transcribing. AHDN reference =D

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Ron Nasty
5563 Posts
(Offline)
39
7 March 2013 - 12.39pm

Typos are easy. I do them all time. Sometimes takes another set of eyes to spot them. Only really matters in things like poetry.a-hard-days-night-george-10

"I only said we were bigger than Rod... and now there's all this!" Ron Nasty

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Gerard
683 Posts
(Offline)
40
7 March 2013 - 1.16pm

It don't come easy when you make typos.

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