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In My Life – what's happening in your life currently?
22 September 2020
6.51am
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William Shears Campbell
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So I've been meaning to post here for a while, because my life took a happy but hectic turn back in May, which turned into a devastating turn about 2 weeks ago.  Basically it's why I haven't been on the forum as much.

So back at the beginning of May I took a summer institute class(a Latter Day Saint College class) over zoom.  My first day online I got put into a breakout room for this activity we were doing and I flirted with this girl a bit and ended up giving her a nickname.  A week later after the next class ended she sent me an email through the school giving me her number and asking if I wanted to study the next class's lesson with her at the park.  I ended up looking her up on Facebook and finding out she was a single mom of 3 kids, despite this I accepted her invite which I took to be a romantic advance.

I met her the next day and we had a nice conversation.  I wasn't sure what to think of her, but I did find out she had been married twice to two abusive guys and was actually in the middle of her second divorce and had been for 6 months due to Coronavirus and the courts being postponed.  We met again 2 days later for another study session, then my buddy told me if I wanted to go further with her I would have to meet her kids, who she talked about all the time.  So I asked her exactly that, and she responded with basically that she didn't want her kids thinking they had a new dad.

Then 2 days later, on a Sunday she texts me in the morning wishing she had help in the garden.  I told her I would come over and help her, but she didn't want me over by myself because of the kids.  So then she went back and forth and finally just invited me over.  So I went over and spent the whole morning helping her with her garden. That's when I started to really like her.  The next week consisted of friendzoning in the middle of helping her in her yard and then Friday and Saturday night being filled with phone calls till 1 in the morning having deep conversations with her opening up about a lot of her abuse.  Sunday was her birthday, then Monday... was memorial day.

Monday began with class in the morning. Then after I went grocery shopping with her for a memorial day party at her house(which I didn't mention was actually her sister's house that contained like 3 households in the family).  Later I ended up staying for the party which was awkward because her family kept looking at me with these judgemental eyes due to her track record with guys and the fact she was still legally married.  She saw I was feeling uneasy and talked to me a bit, until they were doing s'mores.  Then she left to go change a diaper and I was alone with her mom and her sister. Her sister began giving me this lecture warning me about going after her sister.  It really awkward and as soon as she got back I jumped up and walked to my car with her.  She apologized to me for her family's antics gave me a hug and called me as soon as I got in the car.  We talked till I got home and slipped in my bed.  We got into a really deep conversation where what used to be my best memory happened.  She ended up saying how she was afraid she wouldn't end up being my wife and basically proposed to me over the phone at midnight.  Knowing the situation and that we wouldn't be able to ger married for a while I said yes.

After that the next 3 months were filled with me learning how to be a husband and a dad. However because of the divorce we couldn't even kiss.  So I spent my time living the life with what I thought would be my future family along with praying the divorce would soon end.  I fell in love with the kids just as I did with her and things were going great.  However due to this I ended up no longer having time for my friends including my pals over here on the forum.  Time with them and you guys just got buried in the busyness of life at the mad house.

Things with her were going smooth until the end of August.  She out of nowhere told me she wasn't ready for everything and needed 2 weeks of space where I needed to "improve".  The 2 weeks turned into 3 days, which then we discussed slowing things down which I was alright with.  However I couldn't help but feel that her love for me was now conditional to me meeting certian standards which she said wasn't true.  Also I got in a minor car wreck the day we got back together and I've been careless since, although it should get out of the shop tomorrow.

Then about 2 days later she wanted to bring things back to the speed we were going, so I agreed.  Then the next week she slowly started distancing herself from me till finally Thursday she completely ignored me until the at night when she broke up with me over text.  Out of nowhere she told me to never call or text her again, and that she was blocking my number, and that if I came to her house she'd file for a restraining order, but we could still be friends and communicate over letters.

A week later I got a letter from her talking to me about her week like I was her friend, complete ignoring the harsh cutoff she gave a week earlier.  I wrote back and told her I was not going to ignore what had happened and that she had deeply hurt me after all the time and effort I had put into helping her and trying to be the best to be husband and father I could.  I said I did not deserve the way she treated me, and that of we were going to send letters we were going to talk about what happened and patch things up.

So yeah....  Now I'm back.

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22 September 2020
7.36am
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The Hole Got Fixed
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What a story... that is truly awful stuff WSC. You deserve so much more.

I hope she makes it up to you sincerely, but there's no need to count her as a friend after that.

heartHope everything gets back to normal soon

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22 September 2020
8.47am
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I'm really sorry to hear about that William. Family dramas in the middle of romantic occurances are always a messy business, and I hope you two will patch things up and get back on track. I'm not here to give advice or anything, but I do hope you will come out feeling better and whole.

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22 September 2020
2.16pm
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Ahhh Girl
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Insane times for you, WSC! What do your parents make of all this?

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22 September 2020
9.47pm
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Little Piggy Dragonguy
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Timothy said
I've learned the university I attended is moving to the city. From a beautiful expansive campus with grass, great lecture theatres and library, to a skyscraper. It's a downgrade to me, and makes me feel sad the current (soon to be former) campus will likely turn into a housing development. This is the place I became a big Beatles fan, walking the grounds during the day and night. It was a great environment for learning and creativity. It's depressing when things from our past are no more. a-hard-days-night-paul-10

I went to a university in a big city and it was cool because the city was the campus. Could get anywhere you wanted easily. Most colleges are in the middle of nowhere and depressing if you want to go anywhere but don't drive. 

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22 September 2020
10.11pm
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Little Piggy Dragonguy
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I'm sorry to hear about that, WSC

Somebody who lets another man into their kids' lives so quickly doesn't sound like somebody who makes good decisions, and her essentially ghosting you like that wasn't fair to you or the kids. I think it's probably best to take it as a learning experience and move on. Some people constantly have drama in their lives and it's stressful to be around that. You deserve better. 

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22 September 2020
11.36pm
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William Shears Campbell
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Thanks for all the well wishes. It's weird that not too long ago I was planning on sharing happy news about the engagement.  I was mainly waiting till the divorce ended before I spilled the beans, but that's sort of irrelevant now.

Ahhh Girl said
Insane times for you, WSC! What do your parents make of all this?

They sort of just went along with the whole thing.  I think they worried about me a little bit, but things were all good till the breakup.

Little Piggy Dragonguy said
I'm sorry to hear about that, WSC

Somebody who lets another man into their kids' lives so quickly doesn't sound like somebody who makes good decisions, and her essentially ghosting you like that wasn't fair to you or the kids. I think it's probably best to take it as a learning experience and move on. Some people constantly have drama in their lives and it's stressful to be around that. You deserve better. 

Ghosting is a bit of understatement, but yeah thanks.  Yeah I got pretty close with the kids, whichames me worry that this whole thing will hurt them.  I just remember after we got back together after the "space", I had to peel the 3 year old off of me because she clung so tight to me telling me how much she missed me.

A positive is I made more of an impact on them, than they did on me.  I turned them into Beatles fanatics, and we got the kids yellow submarine sippy cups.  That part is good, but it's also good because most of my self identity was inract and not tarnished after the breakup.

 

Also I started to pull out money from my pay check and put it away to help pay off her credit card debt.  It was only $300 because the breakup was shortly after I began, but none of it was spent on her debt and most of it got spent today on my debt...of Beatles music I've neglected to buy due to the other responsibilities I was taking on.

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27 September 2020
2.59pm
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Holy houses @William Shears Campbell I thought you were pulling our collective leg when you posted about getting a divorce previously. I particularly worry about the kids... I wonder if her erratic behavior was due to pressure from her ex or family... it seems like a crap situation all round.

I hope you find someone you can be an excellent husband to and father for. (if that makes sense. I've run out of brain cells) You deserve it. heartheartheart

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27 September 2020
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I fine all that very odd WSC, not sure what to say. 

The obvious kind of thing is suppose it’s better you’re out before it went further but that’s too simple for all those involved. 
Hope you’re doing ok after it’s all done. I hope the kids and the lady are too. All very messed up with no real good from it all. 

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27 September 2020
9.31pm
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I'm recovering from surgery. I guess it's nice to have one thing behind me. Moving to an apartment, finding a job and getting a divorce are next. I'm recovering in my wife's old room at her father's house, which is a bit sad. We've been watching Marvel universe movies.

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27 September 2020
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Hope your recovery is speedy and boring! apple01

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27 September 2020
10.12pm
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Very glad to hear your surgery went well ET. 

A sign of everything going more smoothly for you, I think. 

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28 September 2020
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50yearslate said
ESSAYSSSSSSS @lovelyritametermaid press F if you're also drowning under the weight of your future as a collegiate almost-adult

  

I've been procrastinating for sooooo long on my Common App Essay and I also have to get recommendation letters from my teachers I'm am v. stressed skskskssksksk ;-; 

I'm also taking my SATs again this weekend and getting my wisdom teeth out and a couple of weeks so that's fun /s. 

Other than that nothing else is going on besides marching band and such and stressing about politics and the state of my country 24/7 ;-; I've missed the beatlesbible so much, though, and I'm gonna make an effort to be on here a bit more since I've been gone for *gasp* months.  

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29 September 2020
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William Shears Campbell
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Beatlebug said
Holy houses @William Shears Campbell I thought you were pulling our collective leg when you posted about getting a divorce previously. I particularly worry about the kids... I wonder if her erratic behavior was due to pressure from her ex or family... it seems like a crap situation all round.

I hope you find someone you can be an excellent husband to and father for. (if that makes sense. I've run out of brain cells) You deserve it. heartheartheart

  

I wasn't the one getting the divorce, it was her from her ex.

It was most likely built up pressure from her family.  I highly doubt it had anything to do with her ex.  He was abusive and she despises him.

 

meanmistermustard said
I fine all that very odd WSC, not sure what to say. 

The obvious kind of thing is suppose it’s better you’re out before it went further but that’s too simple for all those involved. 

Hope you’re doing ok after it’s all done. I hope the kids and the lady are too. All very messed up with no real good from it all. 

  

Yeah, honestly it's probably better that I didn't end up with the situation.  I was fine with it while I was with her, but looking in from the outside, I don't think I'd ever want to go back, even if she were to come back to me.

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30 September 2020
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Wow, that's a wild story. I'm sorry that it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, WSC, but hopefully it will be for the best. Every cloud a silver lining and all that.

In my news, my flatmate has tested positive for COVID-19 after developing systems, so it's now two weeks or more of isolation for us. Bit nerve wracking too, since I'm technically high risk due to my asthma. 

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¡No pasarán!

 

30 September 2020
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William Shears Campbell said

Yeah, honestly it's probably better that I didn't end up with the situation.  I was fine with it while I was with her, but looking in from the outside, I don't think I'd ever want to go back, even if she were to come back to me.

  

Delete her from your phone and block her number. You dodged a bullet.

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30 September 2020
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lovelyritametermaid said

50yearslate said

ESSAYSSSSSSS @lovelyritametermaid press F if you're also drowning under the weight of your future as a collegiate almost-adult

  

I've been procrastinating for sooooo long on my Common App Essay and I also have to get recommendation letters from my teachers I'm am v. stressed skskskssksksk ;-; 

Same about the common app! College essays are rough >.< I've written like six already and it's incredibly draining

You should definitely ask for your letters right away if you haven't done so already so they have enough time to write you letter. (College Counselor Fiddy will see you now.)

I'm also taking my SATs again this weekend and getting my wisdom teeth out and a couple of weeks so that's fun /s. 

Oh dear... good luck on the SATs and may your pain be brief and your parents' video recording devices be malfunctioning during the time after your surgery.

QuarryMan said
Wow, that's a wild story. I'm sorry that it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, WSC, but hopefully it will be for the best. Every cloud a silver lining and all that.

In my news, my flatmate has tested positive for COVID-19 after developing systems, so it's now two weeks or more of isolation for us. Bit nerve wracking too, since I'm technically high risk due to my asthma. 

  

Oh no!! I hope you're ok @QuarryMan 

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30 September 2020
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Keep checking in here so we can be sure you're keeping your sanity in tact, @QuarryMan. apple01

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30 September 2020
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That's not good news @QuarryMan. Hope you can stay safe and your flatmate can isolate from you for the next 14 days.

apple01

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1 October 2020
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William Shears Campbell
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QuarryMan said

In my news, my flatmate has tested positive for COVID-19 after developing systems, so it's now two weeks or more of isolation for us. Bit nerve wracking too, since I'm technically high risk due to my asthma. 

  

Shoot.  I know a few people now that have got the virus, luckily I wasn't in contact with them.  That's scary.  I hope you end up staying healthy.

Pablo Ramon said

William Shears Campbell said

Yeah, honestly it's probably better that I didn't end up with the situation.  I was fine with it while I was with her, but looking in from the outside, I don't think I'd ever want to go back, even if she were to come back to me.

  

Delete her from your phone and block her number. You dodged a bullet.

  

I did delete her number.  I'm not gonna worry about blocking it, as she has blocked mine, and I'm not worried about her contacting me.

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