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In My Life – what's happening in your life currently?
25 July 2020
1.44pm
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sir walter raleigh
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MLB Opening day was yesterday. I ended up working a closing shift, and then an opening shift today, but it was worth it because I got to watch the braves game, even though we got shut out. I have 5 days off next week, so that’s nice

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Ahhh Girl

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26 July 2020
1.32am
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Timothy
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sir walter raleigh said
MLB Opening day was yesterday. I ended up working a closing shift, and then an opening shift today, but it was worth it because I got to watch the braves game, even though we got shut out. I have 5 days off next week, so that’s nice

  

How good is your pitch?

1.The Beatles 2.Sgt. Pepper 3.Abbey Road 4.Magical Mystery Tour 5.Rubber Soul 6.Revolver 7.Help! 8.Let It Be
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26 July 2020
2.10am
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WeepingAtlasCedars
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We've moved almost completely into the new house now! It's been quite an adjustment, of course, but it's not all that bad, I suppose. The pictures made it look much worse than it actually is!

I've got a much larger room now, which is nice. I'm excited to finally put the last touches on it to make it my own, which will hopefully be happening soon.

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"WeepyC came into the fray as the premier Jimmy Page fan, and will remain." - sir walter raleigh

 

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26 July 2020
3.49pm
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QuarryMan
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Been doing quite a bit of hill walking with some friends over the past couple weeks. I'm not normally into... well, any form of exercise, really, but it's so nice to be out in nature and the feeling of getting home and relaxing after a big trek is great. 

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There is no final victory, as there is no final defeat. There is just the same battle to be fought, over and over again. So toughen up, bloody toughen up.” - Tony Benn
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26 July 2020
5.36pm
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Timothy said

sir walter raleigh said

MLB Opening day was yesterday. I ended up working a closing shift, and then an opening shift today, but it was worth it because I got to watch the braves game, even though we got shut out. I have 5 days off next week, so that’s nice

  

How good is your pitch?

  

I played catcher growing up. I can’t throw a curveball but I’ve caught some nasty ones. 

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Ahhh Girl

"The pump don't work cause the vandals took the handles!"

-Bob Dylan, Subterranean Homesick Blues

"We could ride and surf together while our love would grow"

-Brian Wilson, Surfer Girl

27 July 2020
2.37am
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Turn Left At Greenland
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Christ, where do I even begin?

It's been a hot second since I was on the forum–whether anybody noticed or not I don't know, but anyway...My life has gotten pretty crazy in the past week. I'm now moving out of my mom's house and going up to Portland (5 hours away) for a number of reasons that I can't be bothered to get into here (I'm honestly just too exhausted emotionally to get into all of it). I'm still unemployed, but have enough money in savings to live on for awhile before I find a job. Because of the dreaded C still being a thing in the States, I'll probably have to find a job where I can work from home; this will also likely inhibit my ability to go out and make friends. Sometimes when I'm really stuck in my head, I'll be so deep into my own irrational thoughts and feelings that I can't gain any perspective on it; but this somehow feels different. It's like my conscious mind is unable to process all the changes that are happening, almost as if I'm traveling through some sort of tunnel where I can't see my surroundings. I think I'm scared, but more than anything I just feel alone. I've been trying to remind myself of how much support I have from my friends and family–and I must give my siblings (especially my sister) credit for helping me through all this. But that doesn't stop me from feeling lonely. Perhaps the fact that I've been listening to the Beatles much less lately is a sign of how I feel mccartney-shrug_01_gif Anyway, that's my longish emotional post, since I guess forums like this are the place for when you just need to let all the words out. Hope you've all been well. I'm bad at catching up on threads when I've been gone for awhile, so I just have to trust that you're all living your best lives. 

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"And life flows on within you and without you"

 

"I guess I just wasn't made for these times"

27 July 2020
1.38pm
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lovelyritametermaid
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*siiiiiiigggghhhhhhhhhhh*

I'm starting to spiral into another black hole of anxiety about my future and college. I still have to write my college application essays (gross) and take the SATs at the end of August (double gross) all while contemplating what I want to study even though I convinced myself that I made up my mind but now I'm seriously pressing 'X' to Doubt over and over again. I got into coding, though "hey I've been wanting to do this-- I like math and physics, I'll just study computers!" and the  I did a summer program and started teaching myself some programming and talked to people in the industry who agreed to help me on my journey into computer science and I somehow convinced my parents that I am dedicated to comp sci but now I'm like "but wait I significantly enjoy the humanities and arts a lot more and I have been for the majority of my life" and now I feel like I'm making the wrong choice of fully committing to computer science but I have to apply to college and I'm scared to talk to my parents about how I'm starting to change my mind and how I feel like it would be best to apply to college as undecided and-- *BREATHES*-- sis, I'm just stressing so hard for no reason. I think all my anxiety just stems from the fact that I have fears of commitment because I'm afraid of being stuck in a career that I will end up possibly disliking for one reason or another and also I'm afraid of choosing a path of study that will leave me confined in a box where I can only study that one thing and not be able to branch out. I have therapy on Wednesday so I could talk things out and rant to my therapist then but rn I just feel lost, stuck, and afraid of other peoples' judgment about my choices of study for college. There's just all this unneeded pressure from everyone to know indefinitely what one plans to do with ones life, even when that person is literally not even an adult yet. Ugh.

 

Also I've very much missed this forum. a-hard-days-night-paul-10heart

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27 July 2020
2.03pm
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Ahhh Girl
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27 July 2020
3.58pm
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I’m feeling a lot of anxiety and uncertainty right now. 

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"This Beatles talk bores me to death.” —John Lennon 

27 July 2020
4.54pm
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Jules
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@lovelyritametermaid I kinda envy you at least you have set for different choices, I'm too indecisive to even realize that I want to go ahead with anything. I would love to have to decide between two options and wage them out, I got none (yet), at least none that I truly want to go ahead and do. Everybody's always told me that I love movies and music so much that I should do something about that and I... don't know if I want to do that. I'm good at it, I've been led to believe; everybody always tells me I'm fairly original and instinctive when it comes to writing and creating, but I don't want to be stuck at passionate jobs that leave me no money or a feeling of success, which is what I'm parcially after, but I also don't want to be stuck at a passion-less job that provides for me. There's gotta be a middle point. My father's made the most success out of himself becoming a well-established boss of his own modest building company and he absolutely loves his job, his father was the most beloved photographer of his town and everybody recognices me as "that man's grandson" as I carry the surname, and he also loved his job.

But there's no pressure involved. That's the worst part of it. Every bit of pressure on me to become as happy and involved with my profession as my father and my grandfather is only imposed by me. I am my worst enemy. I could get a data-filling job in the city and just go white-collar for the rest of my life, establish a basic economic plan and focus on my relationships with friends and women, BUT I FEEL IT'S NOT ENOUGH. People tell me "you shouldn't do what pays, but what you like", but I like buying movies and having a house, is it normal or am I just greedy? Money is just a goal to me as having a job I enjoy.

Anyway, our generation tends to be the most stressed out, just look at ourselves. In a lot of cases teens get this harsh pressure from their parents to do stuff they don't want to do. But in my case, the only thing that would disappoint my parents would be indecision. Is like, they're totally fine with me choosing my career, but I'm not fine with picking something sub-par. I want it to be special but also not that risky, it is an impossible standard that I can't get out of my head. I don't want to have the exact same job as my father or mother because it's too easy, I want to be a self-made man, but simultaneously, I've been trained and I'm skilled in worthless artistic talents that in Argentina will never be fruitful, and I'm decent in History and Math but I don't want to do nothing of the sort. Basically both my parents and their parents were all strugglers and poor and they all made their way into jobs they love and they're good at.

So I instinctively feel the need to prove to myself that I could do it, but simoultaneously I find that the amount of privilege I grew up with has made me incapable of knowing how. And on top of that I don't know what I want to do. I know what I don't want to do: I don't want to work in a cubicle for the entirety of my life unless it's part of my plan, I don't want to be uncertain of the next paycheck, and I need it not to be either translating (like my mom) or building (like my dad). I want to know if I can be my own person, but I haven't find out how. And it's probably a curse that I've limited myself so much as well as put such high standards on me, and it'll probably kick me in the butt someday, and honestly is disheartening.

But I have a feeling that there has to be something that when I see it, I'll immediately say "that's what, I will do that!", and then finally get some step-by-step plan, but there's nothing yet that I'm passionate enough about, because even though I love a lot of professions as ideas, I also love economic stability, and I need that to be pasionate as well, so look how tricky. I also now that I won't find it right Out Of The Blue and I'll have to work my ass off to find it, but I don't even know when to start and with COVID-19 grabbing me right after I finished high school, it feels as an opportunity to work on myself and think it all over, and also a missed opportunity to really go out into the world and find out what the hell is out there for me.

I tend to look at this optimstically. I believe everything eventually solves itself. One of my favourite saying comes from Scarlett O'Hara on Gone with the Wind: "I'll think about that tomorrow". It's half procrastinating, but half liberating as it lets you focus more clearly on the little things you're doing right now. But deep down, I've always been frightened of the future, and of really missing out on opportunities that sometimes I don't have the mental strength to cease.

In my personal experience, the only thing that you have to remember is that most people are in this same boat at this age, even if they pretend they have it all figured it out. You are not alone.

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27 July 2020
5.11pm
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Also @Expert Textpert would it be better if you told us more specifically? It might help you in a cathartic sort of way, as it seems you've been dealing with stuff recently.

Of course if you don't feel comfortable you can keep it.

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27 July 2020
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Just one of life’s challenges. Not suited for forum discussion really.

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"This Beatles talk bores me to death.” —John Lennon 

28 July 2020
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lovelyritametermaid said
*siiiiiiigggghhhhhhhhhhh*

I'm starting to spiral into another black hole of anxiety about my future and college. I still have to write my college application essays (gross) and take the SATs at the end of August (double gross) all while contemplating what I want to study even though I convinced myself that I made up my mind but now I'm seriously pressing 'X' to Doubt over and over again. I got into coding, though "hey I've been wanting to do this-- I like math and physics, I'll just study computers!" and the  I did a summer program and started teaching myself some programming and talked to people in the industry who agreed to help me on my journey into computer science and I somehow convinced my parents that I am dedicated to comp sci but now I'm like "but wait I significantly enjoy the humanities and arts a lot more and I have been for the majority of my life" and now I feel like I'm making the wrong choice of fully committing to computer science but I have to apply to college and I'm scared to talk to my parents about how I'm starting to change my mind and how I feel like it would be best to apply to college as undecided and-- *BREATHES*-- sis, I'm just stressing so hard for no reason. I think all my anxiety just stems from the fact that I have fears of commitment because I'm afraid of being stuck in a career that I will end up possibly disliking for one reason or another and also I'm afraid of choosing a path of study that will leave me confined in a box where I can only study that one thing and not be able to branch out. I have therapy on Wednesday so I could talk things out and rant to my therapist then but rn I just feel lost, stuck, and afraid of other peoples' judgment about my choices of study for college. There's just all this unneeded pressure from everyone to know indefinitely what one plans to do with ones life, even when that person is literally not even an adult yet. Ugh.

 

Also I've very much missed this forum. a-hard-days-night-paul-10heart


  

Rita! Rita! Same! I am feeling exactly the same way at this very moment and have been for the past two or so weeks. There's so much STUFF to do to get ready for college and so many CHOICES about so many different THINGS and I don't feel ready to make any kind of significant decisions about my future yet. Like you, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to study but I'm now concerned that I'm missing other opportunities. It's so very stressful. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I hope things become clearer for you and you won't be so stressed. 🙂

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28 July 2020
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I am four years out from being eligible for my state pension. I have been thinking of it in terms of having 4 years of high school so I could go to college and then 4 years again (of uni) so I could go out and get the job I had been dreaming of since I was about 7 or 8 years old. I lasted in that job for 5 years before jumping ship to go back to uni to study for another job*. I hope my retirement era is longer than 5 years. If not, Joe will have to find another mod in 2029.

*It is liberating to know that you don't have to be stuck with your first career. You young forumpudlians are smart. You'll be fine.

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28 July 2020
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Mildly stressing about my band's gig tomorrow... I feel underprepared and my amp decided to crap out on me today so I'm going to have to borrow my bandmates' and it doesn't have as many effects so it's just not gonna be as fun (without WAH) the lack of wah is giving me a wahwah a-hard-days-night-paul-7 I know it'll probably be fine and it won't be the end of the world if I make mistakes and I'll enjoy it but... Ugh I always get cold feet before I do any sort of fun thing I've been preparing for ages. I'll be fine. a-hard-days-night-paul-7

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Ahhh Girl said

*It is liberating to know that you don't have to be stuck with your first career. You young forumpudlians are smart. You'll be fine.

  

I'm in my mid-twenties and am currently working in an industry I fell into at 18 that I'm not very passionate about anymore. I'm hopefully about to take the plunge and begin studying part time to train as something else entirely, which will take about 4 years in total - I'm just trying to find ways of fitting the course around my full time job with an awkward shift pattern. It feels daunting, but I also can't remember the last time I felt so excited about something, so I'm really hoping it'll be the right decision. 

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29 July 2020
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Ahhh Girl said
I am four years out from being eligible for my state pension. I have been thinking of it in terms of having 4 years of high school so I could go to college and then 4 years again (of uni) so I could go out and get the job I had been dreaming of since I was about 7 or 8 years old. I lasted in that job for 5 years before jumping ship to go back to uni to study for another job*. I hope my retirement era is longer than 5 years. If not, Joe will have to find another mod in 2029.

*It is liberating to know that you don't have to be stuck with your first career. You young forumpudlians are smart. You'll be fine.

  

I don't really want to have to go to college twice though a-hard-days-night-paul-7 that sounds expensive

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29 July 2020
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TangerineTrees
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Hi everyone. It's been awhile. I have really missed being a part of this forum, but I decided to take a break for a little bit to catch up. I'm going to be homeschooled in the autumn, which I'm both excited and scared for. However, I do think that I will be able to learn more about things that will actually help me in real life while being homeschooled. I got a ukulele for my birthday about a month ago and can already play lots of songs, including some by the Beatles. I've also been experimenting with GarageBand and music production. Things have been stressful during some parts of my time away, but, all in all, I'm doing much better now. I finally was able to tell my mom about my struggle with anorexia (which I developed over quarantine) and got the help that I needed. I'm now healthy again, even though I still deal with negative thoughts sometimes. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts recently, even more often than music, but I have learned a lot about various interesting topics. I'm still a huge Beatlemaniac though. I've been kind of lonely recently, especially since I've been really missing one of my best friends with whom I've been in love with for years now, but I feel like coming back to this forum will really help my mental health. I can't wait to be a part of this forum again. a-hard-days-night-george-9

Have a wonderful day. heart

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29 July 2020
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Turn Left At Greenland
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Sorry to hear about your mental health struggles @TangerineTrees, but I'm glad you're doing better now.

I can relate a little too well to what you said about missing your friend–I currently have a close friend who I have, well, an emotionally complicated relationship with, and honestly I wonder if there's some feels there that I don't fully understand. What's funny about it is that I had a huge crush on her best friend for like all of my college years, so maybe some of those feelings are residual from that?...Honestly at this point I'm just done with all of it. Of my five current female friends, two I was involved with at some point, one I asked out on a date and got turned down by, and one is the friend I was just talking about. Do I have a problem? Yes, I definitely have a problem a-hard-days-night-ringo-14 But oh well, such is one's twenties I guess mccartney-shrug_01_gif

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29 July 2020
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Ahhh Girl
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I was on a Pell grant for undergraduate. I was a "student worker" during undergrad and grad school. I did take out loans for grad school. I didn't work other than the student worker gig so I finished grad school in a year and a half. I chose that path, and I it worked for me. I know many students juggle full-time jobs and school...and some even have children thrown into the mix. Not sure i could handle all that.

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