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Happiness Is A Nice Thread
5 October 2019
2.50am
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A guy steps out of his hotel just as a taxi draws up.......

He get's quickly in and tells the cabbie where to go.......

The cabbie leans back and speaks.......

'You're just Like Brian'

'What?'

'Brian..Brian Sullivan'

'The way you just stepped out and there's a taxi pulling up for you......That sort of thing always worked out for Brian. Perfect timing.'

'Come on everyone has some clouds in their life......' 

Not for Brian.......He was a terrific athlete, could have played a tennis grand-slam....Played golf with the pros.....Sang like a bird...You should have heard him on the piano!!'

"Sounds like he was something really special'

There's more....a memory like a computer he never forgot birthdays.......He knew all about wine and the best foods.... and what fork to use..5555! Wonderful in the garage or the kitchen and women loved him he always knew what to say and never corrected them when they were in the wrong.....

'Wow some guy then!'

'Yes you're right no one could measure up to him'

"An amazing fellow then.....How did you meet him?

Cabbie.....'Well I never actually met him.... he died......I married his fecking widow

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8 October 2019
6.54pm
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50yearslate
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Discovered this post deep within the questions thread and it made me happy.

meanmistermustard said

Whats a twilight vampire? No doubt it has to do with those horrible looking teen films. Not seen any of them but are they about being 17 and a vampire and meeting and falling in love when out looking for your next bite and how who you are does not define the real you and that the true love of another can set you free into becoming the real real true you. 

If not i'm giving up looking for work and instead writing the screen play. As long as there is a smoldering sultry hot young cast the acting doesnt matter and nor does the quality of the script.

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Love one another.

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(I'm Fiddy, not Walrian)

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9 October 2019
1.22pm
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50yearslate said
Discovered this post deep within the questions thread and it made me happy.

meanmistermustard said

Whats a twilight vampire? No doubt it has to do with those horrible looking teen films. Not seen any of them but are they about being 17 and a vampire and meeting and falling in love when out looking for your next bite and how who you are does not define the real you and that the true love of another can set you free into becoming the real real true you. 

If not i'm giving up looking for work and instead writing the screen play. As long as there is a smoldering sultry hot young cast the acting doesnt matter and nor does the quality of the script.

  

Where on earth did that come from? 

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"I told you everything I could about me, Told you everything I could" ('Before Believing' - Emmylou Harris) 

"Don't make your love suffer insecurities; Trade the baggage of self to set another one free" ('Paper Skin' - Kendall Payne)

9 October 2019
2.20pm
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The weather has finally turned autumnal and I am very happy. a-hard-days-night-george-9

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It verges from the sublime to the ridiculote

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9 October 2019
4.34pm
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50yearslate
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meanmistermustard said

50yearslate said

Discovered this post deep within the questions thread and it made me happy.

meanmistermustard said

Whats a twilight vampire? No doubt it has to do with those horrible looking teen films. Not seen any of them but are they about being 17 and a vampire and meeting and falling in love when out looking for your next bite and how who you are does not define the real you and that the true love of another can set you free into becoming the real real true you. 

If not i'm giving up looking for work and instead writing the screen play. As long as there is a smoldering sultry hot young cast the acting doesnt matter and nor does the quality of the script.

  

Where on earth did that come from? 

  

The Getting To Know BBers question thread, deep within its murky depths.

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10 October 2019
8.03am
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Beatlebug said
The weather has finally turned autumnal and I am very happy. a-hard-days-night-george-9

  

Same! Time to bring the Autumn listening/reading/watching into full rotation paul-mccartney-thumb_gif

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Tall, dark-haired QuarryMan likes basketball, music, and naturally, boys. He was a valuable participant on the track team. He is one of Freeport's great contributors to the recording world. As for the immediate future, QuarryMan has no plans, but will take life as it comes. 

Avatar courtesy of Beatlebug; signature courtesy of Mr Lou Reed

10 October 2019
2.00pm
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AppleScruffJunior
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Beatlebug said
The weather has finally turned autumnal and I am very happy. a-hard-days-night-george-9

  

It seems to have jumped from summer to winter for us- it's so cold and I hate the dark mornings. I finally invested in a SAD's alarm clock for my bedroom and it's helping so much, all those winter mornings lying in my bed grumbling because it's 8am and still pitch black outside- all gone 😀 .

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INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

                 ***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

                ***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

18 October 2019
4.15am
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AppleScruffJunior
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A Scot walks into a bar. Usually, there's an Englishman, a Welshman, and an Irishman involved. But they're all still in Japan.

 

 

Heh.

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INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

                 ***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

                ***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

18 October 2019
4.15pm
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William Shears Campbell
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Today I went to the record store.  My purchase was going to go a bit over my budget, but thus is the life.  Then at the counter, the girl ringing me up dropped my Ringo Starr LP(it wasn't damaged though) and I gave a concerned look.  When the total came through it was about $20 less than I expected. When I got to my car I looked at the receipt and she had changed me nothing for the record she dropped.  I then proceed to go back in the store and buy an additional LP because I could, and I even ended up staying(barely) under budget.

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18 October 2019
9.07pm
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Beatlebug
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Beatlebug said a couple hours ago

Beatlebug quoted a fortnight ago

Beatlebug said a fortnight ago
My mad wizard friend is making his DJ debut right now. beatlemaniacs_02_gif  

Tonight there were some technical difficulties and he was unable to play what he had planned to, instead having to rely on the station's existing rotation. His programme is called 'Blackout Radio' and will be airing every second Friday night 8-10 PM EST, hopefully properly from now on.  

It's pwoper now and I'm listening to 'Devil's Radio'! ahdn_john_08_gif

He opened with Bowie's 'Station to Station' live, then played 'Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite !' (sidenote: this song goes well with pumpkin spice ginger ale), then played 'Devil's Radio'. At the very end, he played what might be my no. 1 favourite Bowie song ("favourite" in ironic "Heroes" quotes if threatened at revolverpoint) 'Untitled No. 1', in honour of me being his mate, my part in the 'Blackout' concept, and my recent half-birthday. beatlemaniacs_02_gifheart

It verges from the sublime to the ridiculote

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18 October 2019
10.20pm
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After a terrible car accident a man wakes up bereft.....of his manhood....

 

The Dr says.....'You're very lucky sir.....This is the  foremost hospital in the country that specialises in penis re-attachments.....

I have three samples in the fridge just waiting and I can whip one on to you in minutes when you give me the go-ahead........

Naturally you'd have to go private for this procedure......

 

Now sir, I have an English, perfectly functional penis at 2500 pounds.....I also have a what we call, 'farm fresh' Scottish penis..... This example  has spent most of it's life free range and unconstricted under a swirling kilt in the Scottish Highlands.....As you'd expect that's a little more expensive..... at 3500 pounds.

Finally sir we of course have the West Indian deluxe model at 5000 pounds.....Say the word and I'll whip one of these beauties straight on......'

 

'I'll have to discuss something as important as this with my wife.....'

"Certainly sir completely understand ......Call your wife and let me know the decision......

5 Mins later the patient beckons the DR back in the room......

"You've both reached your decision......?

"Yes.....we are having a new kitchen

19 October 2019
7.09am
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AppleScruffJunior said
A Scot walks into a bar. Usually, there's an Englishman, a Welshman, and an Irishman involved. But they're all still in Japan.

  

Edit: A Scot and an Irishman walk into a bar. 

 

INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

                 ***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

                ***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

19 October 2019
12.49pm
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Beatlebug said

Beatlebug said a couple hours ago

Beatlebug quoted a fortnight ago

Beatlebug said a fortnight ago

My mad wizard friend is making his DJ debut right now. beatlemaniacs_02_gif  

Tonight there were some technical difficulties and he was unable to play what he had planned to, instead having to rely on the station's existing rotation. His programme is called 'Blackout Radio' and will be airing every second Friday night 8-10 PM EST, hopefully properly from now on.  

It's pwoper now and I'm listening to 'Devil's Radio'! ahdn_john_08_gif

He opened with Bowie's 'Station to Station' live, then played 'Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite !' (sidenote: this song goes well with pumpkin spice ginger ale), then played 'Devil's Radio'. At the very end, he played what might be my no. 1 favourite Bowie song ("favourite" in ironic "Heroes" quotes if threatened at revolverpoint) 'Untitled No. 1', in honour of me being his mate, my part in the 'Blackout' concept, and my recent half-birthday. beatlemaniacs_02_gifheart

  

Pumpkin spice what now? a-hard-days-night-ringo-12

Sounds like a lovely list of songs a-hard-days-night-george-9ahdn_ringo_09 

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Love one another.

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(I'm Fiddy, not Walrian)

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26 October 2019
11.21pm
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ThatWeirdBeatlesGirl
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50yearslate said

Beatlebug said

Beatlebug said a couple hours ago

Beatlebug quoted a fortnight ago

Beatlebug said a fortnight ago

My mad wizard friend is making his DJ debut right now. beatlemaniacs_02_gif  

Tonight there were some technical difficulties and he was unable to play what he had planned to, instead having to rely on the station's existing rotation. His programme is called 'Blackout Radio' and will be airing every second Friday night 8-10 PM EST, hopefully properly from now on.  

It's pwoper now and I'm listening to 'Devil's Radio'! ahdn_john_08_gif

He opened with Bowie's 'Station to Station' live, then played 'Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite !' (sidenote: this song goes well with pumpkin spice ginger ale), then played 'Devil's Radio'. At the very end, he played what might be my no. 1 favourite Bowie song ("favourite" in ironic "Heroes" quotes if threatened at revolverpoint) 'Untitled No. 1', in honour of me being his mate, my part in the 'Blackout' concept, and my recent half-birthday. beatlemaniacs_02_gifheart

  

Pumpkin spice what now? a-hard-days-night-ringo-12

Sounds like a lovely list of songs a-hard-days-night-george-9ahdn_ringo_09 

  

This is becoming quite a long string of quotes.

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27 October 2019
10.55am
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When you're playing at a party where no one is paying attention to you, but then your band's #1 fan shows up and everyone else starts getting into the music suddenly... ahdn_george_06

Also just people paying attention to me in general a-hard-days-night-john-6 (I'm an unabashed show-off ahdn_paul_01)

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The Hole Got Fixed

It verges from the sublime to the ridiculote

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3 November 2019
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An Irishman walks OUT of a bar.

Well... it could happen.

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Turn off your stream, relax and float down mind

4 November 2019
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Mrs Cohen calls the Jewish chronicle to leave an obituary for her recently deceased husband

She begins to dictate.....

"Much beloved and cherished Manny Cohen passed away in his sleep....."she continues her introduction in the same vein.....Then she gets on to describing "the funeral coach and 6 black horses......The chief rabbi was there and she lists all the esteemed and important  guests.....The food served and so on..." 15 minutes later she halts.

After a tally-up she's told, 'That was lovely Mrs Cohen we'll have it in tomorrows edition.......it will cost 3,430 GBPs'

'WHAT???"

'We charge a pound a word Mrs Cohen......' 

 

"Ok OK already...... scrub that....Just write...... Cohen's dead'

'I'm so sorry Mrs Cohen but we have a 5 pound minimum'

 

Ok......'Write:

Cohen's dead, Volvo for sale' 

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4 November 2019
7.51pm
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William Shears Campbell
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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a rino?

Elephino

[say it out loud]

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5 November 2019
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I said it out loud and I don’t get it

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5 November 2019
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50yearslate said
I said it out loud and I don’t get it

  

It sounds like "(h)ell if I know"

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Oh, by the way, this post was made by The Hole Got Fixed!

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