Funniest Post/Creative Contribution | Page 4 | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

https://www.beatlesbible.com/f…..6/#p291467

I’m nominating this post by mmm for this category for this year – I read it at least 2 minutes ago and I’m still chuckling!

meanmistermustard said

WeepingAtlasCedars said 

Lucky, Hippymama!

Speaking of uni: I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I want to do and where I should go. I’m very much interested in leaving the country, but then again I don’t have a clue how to. 

Depends on where you live but boat, train, plane, car, walk, run, jump, hop, skip, swim are only a handful of options. A passport and ticket may also be required depending.

Always here to help.  

I’ll just leave this here

50yearslate said
Open at your own risk.

Reveal Spoiler

The Beatles’ songs – complete A-Z list! 

A Beginning A Beginning (To A Life Of Crime)

A Day In The Life  A Day In The Life (Of A Dictator)

A Hard Day’s Night A Good Sharp Knife

A Shot Of Rhythm And Blues A Shot In The Head

A Taste Of Honey   A Taste Of Cruelty

Across The Universe  (I’ll Hunt You All The Way) Across The Universe

Act Naturally  Act Psychotically

Ain’t She Sweet  Ain’t She Mean

All I’ve Got To Do  All I’ve Got To Do (Is Pull The Trigger)

All My Loving  All My Hatred

All Things Must Pass  All Good Regimes Must Pass (While Bad Ones Last Forever)

All Together Now  All Alone Forever

All You Need Is Love  All You Need Is Hate

And I Love Her  And I Hate Her

And Your Bird Can Sing  And Your Wife Can Cheat

Anna (Go To Him) Anna (Take Him Out)

Another Girl  Another Casualty

Any Time At All  Any Time At All (Is A Good Time For A Vicious Corporate Takeover)

Ask Me Why  Ask Me Why (And You Won’t Live To Tell)

Baby It’s You  Baby I Hate You

Baby You’re A Rich Man  Baby I’m A Rich Man (And I Refuse To Share)

Baby’s In Black  Baby’s In The Ground

Back In The USSR  Back In The Slammer

 Bad Boy

The Ballad Of John And Yoko  The Battle Of John And Yoko

The Beautiful Dreamer The Hideous Killer

Because Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite ! Being For The Benefit Of Me And Me Alone

Besame Mucho  Dejame Mucho

Birthday  Deathday

Blackbird  Jailbird

Blue Jay Way  (Hatred Is) The Only Way

Boys  Boys (Are Better Than Girls)

 Can’t Buy Me Love  Can’t Buy Me Bail

Carnival Of Light  Cult of Darkness

Carol Carol (Is Dead)

Carry That Weight  Carry That Weight (For The Rest Of Your Life And Never Let Go)

Cayenne Cayenne (In Your Boss’s Coffee)

Chains  Chains (And Shackles)

Child Of Nature  It’s Okay To Leave A Small Child In A Hot Car

Christmas Time (Is Here Again) Wartime (Is Here Again)

Circles Circles (Made By The Eggs I Threw At Your Front Door)

Clarabella Clarabella (Will Sing No More)

Come And Get It  Come And Get Arrested

Come Together  Drift Apart

The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill  The Continuing Story of Broken-Hearted Bill

 Cry Baby Cry  Cry Baby Cry (As I Watch And Laugh)

Cry For A Shadow Cry Forever

Crying, Waiting, Hoping Crying, Waiting, Giving Up

Day Tripper  Throat Ripper

Dear Prudence  Dead Prudence

Devil In Her Heart  Devil In Her Heart (Oh Wait She Doesn’t Have One)

Dig A Pony  Dig A Grave (For A Pony)

Dig It  Dig A Big Hole (For Someone To Fall Into)

Dizzy Miss Lizzy  Devious Miss Lizzy

Do You Want To Know A Secret  Do You Want To Kill A Small Mouse

Doctor Robert  Doctor Robert (Will Give You A Lobotomy Whether You Like It Or Not, And He’ll Do It With A Rusty Saw)

Don’t Bother Me  I’ll Bother You

Don’t Ever Change Don’t Do Good Things

Don’t Let Me Down  Don’t Help Me Out

Don’t Pass Me By  Don’t Acknowledge My Existence

Drive My Car   Drive My Car (Off A Bridge)

Eight Days A Week  Eighty Pounds (You’re Weak)

Eleanor Rigby  Eff Off Right Now

The End  The End (Of The Civilized World)

Every Little Thing  Every Little Thing (Is Going On Your Criminal Record)

Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey  Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Including Me And my Accomplice

Everybody’s Trying To Be My Baby  Everybody’s Trying To Attack Me

Fixing A Hole  Leaving Some Holes (In Our Children’s Education)

Flying  Flying (Off My Bike After Hitting A Pothole)

The Fool On The Hill   The Fool On Capitol Hill

 For No One  I Love No One

For You Blue  I Hate You

Free As A Bird  (I’ll Never Be) Free As A Bird (Again Because I Murdered Seven People)

From Me To You  It’s Okay To Leave A Dog In A Hot Car

(i know it doesn’t work but I couldn’t think of anything else and i had to use it somewhere)

Get Back  Get Back Home (You’re On House Arrest)

Getting Better  Getting Worse

Girl Girls Are Inferior Beings

Glad All Over  Sunburned All Over

Glass Onion  Let’s Cut Up Some Onions (So We Can Make People Cry)

Golden Slumbers   Golden Slumbers (Will Never Come To Insomiacs)

Good Day Sunshine  Not A Good Night For A Thunderstorm

Good Morning Good Morning  Bad Day Bad Day

Good Night   Good Night Forever

Got To Get You Into My Life   Got To Get You Out Of My Life

Hallelujah, I Love Her So Hallelujah, I Love Religious Persecution

Happiness Is A Warm Gun  Guns Are Good (For Shooting People)

Hello Little Girl  Goodbye Old Man (You’re A King Mixer)

Hello, Goodbye  Goodbye Forever

Help ! Don’t Help People Who Need It

Helter Skelter  Hell, There’s A Skeleton

Her Majesty  Her Majesty (Has Been Replaced By Trump)

Here Comes The Sun  Here Comes A Gun

Here, There And Everywhere  Discrimination Happens Here, There, And Everywhere

Hey Bulldog  Hey Bulldog (I’m Going To Train You To Attack People)

Hey Jude  Hey Jude (Lean A Little Farther Over The Railing)

The Hippy Hippy Shake I Can’t Shake The Hippy That’s Been Following Me

Hold Me Tight  Hold Me Tight (Around The Neck)

Honey Don’t  Honey Do (Cheat On Me)

Honey Pie  Honey Pie (Is Good But Bees Are Bad)

The Honeymoon Song The Moon Landing Was Faked Conspiracy Theory Song

How Do You Do It  How Did You Get Elected

I Am The Walrus  I Am The Culprit

I Call Your Name  I Call My Gang

I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party  I Want To Spoil The Party

I Feel Fine  I Feel Like Crap

I Forgot To Remember To Forget I Forgot Your Name (And How To Spell It)

I Got A Woman  I Got An Illness 

I Got To Find My Baby I Got To Run Away (From My Responsibilities)

I Just Don’t Understand I Just Don’t Understand (The Difference Between Right And Wrong)

I Me Mine  I Rule The World, Just Me, It’s Mine

I Need You   I Need You (To Strike That Match So I Can Light This Fuse)

I Saw Her Standing There  I Saw Her Standing There (And Then I Tripped Her)

I Should Have Known Better  I Should Have Known Better (Than To Compromise)

I Wanna Be Your Man  I Want To Kill Your Man (Romeo And Juliet Much?)

I Want To Hold Your Hand   I’m Peeking At Your Hand (Because I’m George In The Palace Scene In Help )

I Want To Tell You  I Want To Tell You (To Feck Off)

I Want You (She’s So Heavy) I Don’t Want You (You’re Too Heavy)

I Will  I Won’t

I’ll Be Back  I’m Leaving Forever

I’ll Be On My Way 

I’ll Cry Instead  I’ll Cry Instead (Of Solving My Problems Like A Normal, Mature Human Being)

I’ll Follow The Sun  I’ll Follow The Sun (And I’ll Get Skin Cancer In A Few Years)

I’ll Get You  I’ll Get You (To Throw Plastic In The Ocean)

I’m A Loser  You’re A Loser

I’m Down  I’m Down (In The Mine Shaft, Breathing In Coal Dust)

I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Cry (Over You)  I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Cry (If You Don’t Give Me What I Want)

I’m Happy Just To Dance With You  Please Don’t Make Me Dance With You

I’m Looking Through You  I’m Looking Through Your Resume (And I’m Not Impressed)

I’m Only Sleeping  I’m Only Pleasant When I’m Sleeping

I’m So Tired  I’m So Tired (Of Talking To You)

I’m Talking About You I’m Talking About You (And I’m Telling Your Deepest, Darkest Secrets To Total Strangers)

I’ve Got A Feeling  I’ve Got A Feeling (This Will Be The Last Conversation We’ll Ever Have)

I’ve Just Seen A Face  I Don’t Like Your Face

If I Fell  If You Fell (It’s Because I Pushed You)

If I Needed Someone  If I Needed Someone It Wouldn’t Be You

If You’ve Got Trouble  If You’ve Got Trouble Then I’ll Be Pleased

In My Life  (There’s Not Enough Hatred) In My Life

In Spite Of All The Danger  In Spite Of All The Danger (I’ll Vandalize The Preschool)

The Inner Light  The Inner Light (Has Been Extinguished)

It Won’t Be Long  It Won’t Be Long (Till My Hearing)

It’s All Too Much  Too Much Cake Will Make Me Puke 

It’s Only Love  It’s Only Love (Which I Despise)

Johnny B Goode Johnny B. Bad

Julia  Julia (I’m Cheating On You)

Junk My Computer Is A Piece Of Junk

Kansas City /Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey!  Kansas City Is A Good Place To Play (In The Middle of The Highway At Rush Hour)

Keep Your Hands Off My Baby Keep Your Hands Off My Baby (Even Though I Haven’t Returned The Favor)

Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand  Schneiden Sie Ihre Hand Ab

Lady Madonna  The First Lady (Is A Hypocrite)

Leave My Kitten Alone  Don’t Take Your Kitten To The Vet (Even If It’s Sick)

Lend Me Your Comb I’ve Stolen Your Comb

Let It Be  Let’s Shoot The Vice President

Like Dreamers Do  I’m Having A Nightmare

Little Child  Little Children (Shouldn’t Go To School)

Lonesome Tears in My Eyes  There’s Mustard Gas In My Eyes

The Long And Winding Road  The Large And Warty Toad (In Your Soup)

Long Tall Sally  Large Tall Snowman (Left Outside To Melt Into Oblivion)

Long, Long, Long  Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

Los Paranoias Soy paranóico

Love Me Do  Love Me Don’t

Love Of The Loved Hate Of The Hated

Love You To  Hate You To (Pieces)

Lovely Rita  Forgot My Key Ring

Lucille  Lucille (Ball Is No Longer Alive)

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds  Lucy’s Falling Fast (Someone Get A Net! Too Late)

Maggie Mae  Maggie Mae (Is Mean To Me Every Day)

Magical Mystery Tour  TRAGICAL HISTORY TOUR

Mailman, Bring Me No More Blues Mailman, I Live At The Top Of A Very Tall Hill With No Driveway That You Will Have To Climb Weekly And I Order Lots Of Large Packages (Have Fun Delivering My Mail)

March Of The Meanies  

Martha My Dear  Martha You’re Crying Tears

Matchbox  Matchbox (es Are Useful Tools To Arsonists)

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer  Maxwell’s Silver Hammer (Was Used To Murder Multiple People And You’re Next)

Mean Mr Mustard  

Memphis, Tennessee Memphis, Tennessee (Is The Last Place I Would Want To Be)

Michelle   Seashells (Don’t Actually Have The Ocean Inside Them, Your Entire Childhood Was A Lie)

Misery  Misery (Is My Only Emotion)

Money (That’s What I Want) Money (Is What You’d Better Give Me)

Moonlight Bay Horses Shouldn’t Eat Hay (They Should Eat Only Chocolate)

Mother Nature’s Son  Mother ‘s Nature (Is To Be Cruel To Her Son)

Mr Moonlight  That’s A Plastic Spoon, Right?

My Bonnie   My Money (Is Mine And You Can’t Have It, I Don’t Care If You Need Surgery)

The Night Before  The Night Before (The World Ends)

No Reply  (I Spam You With Emojis Daily, But When You Text Me Back I Give You) No Reply

Nobody’s Child Nobody’s Going To Educate That Child

Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) Norwegian Wood (s Should Be Cut Down To Benefit Huge Faceless Corporations)

Not A Second Time  Commit A Second Crime

Not Guilty  Guilty

Nothin’ Shakin’ My Head Is Shakin’ (When You Ask For A Favor)

Now And Then  Never Again (Will I Do A Good Deed)

Nowhere Man   No One Plans (To Fight Discrimination)

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  Nothing’s Free, Nah-Nah-Nah

Octopus’s Garden    I’m Not Eating That Fecking Squid

Oh! Darling  No! Darling

Old Brown Shoe    The Dog Peed In My Shoes

One After 909  Prisoner 909

Only A Northern Song   Only A Few Crimes Are Wrong

Ooh! My Soul  Ooh! My Sole (These Shoes Are Too Tight)

Paperback Writer  Doubleback Alley 

Penny Lane  Petty And Lame

Pepperland  People Can’t (Be Decent Human Beings)

Pepperland Laid Waste People Can’t Learn To Stop Making So Much Waste

Piggies  You’re A Pig

Please Mister Postman  Sneeze Mister Postman (Because I Gave You A Cold)

Please Please Me  Please Squeeze Me (Till I Breathe No More)

Polythene Pam  Let’s Blow Up A Dam

PS I Love You   PS I Cut You (With A Knife)

 Rain  Blame (It On Him, Not Me)

Real Love  (There’s No Such Thing As) Real Love

Revolution  Revolution (Against Humanity)

Revolution 1  Revolutions Are Fun (And Something To Take Lightly) 

Revolution 9  Those Rights Are Mine (And I’m Not Afraid To Sue)

 Rock And Roll Music   I’m Going To Lose It

Rocky Raccoon  The Hindenburg Was A Balloon (That Killed Many People)

Roll Over Beethoven  Beethoven Can’t Roll Over (Because He’s Dead)

Run For Your Life   

The Saints The Demons (Shall Rule The World)

Savoy Truffle  Getting Into A Scuffle

Sea Of Holes   See That Hole? (That’s Your Grave)

Sea Of Monsters  See That Monster? (RUN!)

Sea Of Time  See The Time? (You’d Better Go)

Searchin’ Searchin’ For My Next Victim (Mwah Hah Hah)

September In The Rain  Your Friend’s In Jail Again

Sexy Sadie  Psycho Sadie

Sgt Pepper ‘s Lonely Hearts Club Band We Probably Shouldn’t Teach Our Children To Read Or Write

Sgt Pepper ‘s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise) We Probably Shouldn’t Teach Our Children To Read Or Write (Reprise)

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window  She Escaped Through The Prison Window

She Loves You  She Hates You (And You Know You Should Be Mad)

She Said She Said  Tears Shed Tears Shed

The Sheik Of Araby Please Get Some Jelly Beans (And Throw Them At Me)

She’s A Woman  I Hate Women

She’s Leaving Home  She Broke My Phone

Shout Shout (Bad Words In The Presence Of Small Children)

Sie Liebt Dich  Sie Verabscheut Dich

Slow Down  Speed Up (Before We Get Caught)

So How Come (No One Loves Me) No One Loves Me (Because I Hate Everyone)

Soldier Of Love Graves Full Of Soldiers

Some Other Guy I’m Gonna Die

Something  Something (Fishy Is Going On Here)

Sour Milk Sea You Are The Last Person I Want To See

Step Inside Love Step Outside Love (And Never Return)

Strawberry Fields Forever  Why Don’t You Pull On This Lever (Oh I Didn’t See That Trapdoor)

Sun King  Bad Thing

Sure To Fall (In Love With You) Sure To Fall (Right Off That Cliff)

Swanee River Watch You Shiver (In The Snow With No Coat)

Sweet Little Sixteen Sweet Little Sixteen (Gauge Shotgun)

Sweet Georgia Brown  I’d Like To See You Frown

Take Good Care Of My Baby Will I Spare Your Life? Maybe

Take Out Some Insurance On Me, Baby Take Out Some Insurance (And Do Some Paperwork And Stress About Rates And Receive Minimal Compensation When Something Bad Happens)

Taxman  The Taxman (Is Coming To Take All Your Money)

Teddy Boy  That Fun Is A Toy

Tell Me What You See  Tell Me Where You’ll Be (So I Can Stalk You)

Tell Me Why  Watching You Cry (Is My Favorite Activity)

Thank You Girl  Hate You Girl

That Means A Lot  That Man Was Shot

That’ll Be The Day That’s Not The Right Way (To Aim A Gun Properly)

That’s All Right (Mama) It’s All Right (To Spam-Text Mama)

There’s A Place  There’s A Place (Called Prison, Where I Live)

Things We Said Today  Things We Said Today (Were Discriminatory) 

Think For Yourself   Don’t Think For Yourself (Be A Mindless Little Slave)

This Boy  This Boy (Broke His Little Sister’s Toy)

Three Cool Cats I Hate Cats

(it pained my soul to type those words)

Ticket To Ride   People I Lied (When I Told You It Would Be A Good Idea To Elect Me)

Till There Was You  I Wholeheartedly Hate You

To Know Her Is To Love Her Don’t Know Her, Don’t Love Her

Tomorrow Never Knows  Tomorrow Never Knows (But I Do, And I’m Telling)

Too Much Monkey Business Too Much Money Lost By This Business

Twist And Shout  You Locked Me Out (And Didn’t Let Me In Till Morning Even Though It Was Below Zero Last Night)

Two Of Us  Can’t I Trust (Anybody? No!)

Wait  I Can’t Bl**dy Wait (Until Winston Churchill Dies)

We Can Work It Out  We Can’t Work It Out

What Goes On  What’s Going On Here?

What You’re Doing  Nothing Doing (I Already Told You, I Don’t Care If You Need Surgery, I’m Not Lending You A Cent)

What’s The New Mary Jane  Where’s A Person I Can Blame (For My Most Recent Crime)

When I Get Home  Hey What’s That Foam (Coming Out Of Your Dog’s Mouth)

When I’m Sixty-Four  When I’m Sixty-Four (My Sentence Will Finally End)

While My Guitar Gently Weeps  While My Wife Quietly Sleeps (I’m Getting Out Of Here)

Why Why Don’t We Do It In The Road? Hey What’s The Best Mode (Of Transportation For A Speedy Getaway)

Wild Honey Pie  I’m Going To Make you Cry (Because I think It’s Fun)

With A Little Help From My Friends   We Will Meet Again (In A Dark Alley, You’d Better Bring A Knife) 

Within You Without You  Without You Forever

The Word  The Word (Has Been Censored To Spare Any Children In The Vicinity)

Words Of Love  Who’s In Love? (Not Me, That’s For Sure)

Yellow Submarine  I’m Manning (The Machine Guns)

Yellow Submarine In Pepperland  Learn To Be Nice? People Can’t (It’s Just Not In Their Nature)

Yer Blues  Yer Shoes (Have Something Nasty Inside; I Wonder How It Got There, Wink Wink)

Yes It Is   No It’s Not 

Yesterday  Come Out And Play (With This Nice Man Driving The Unmarked White Van)

You Can’t Do That  You Can Do That If You Want (It’s Not Like Laws Are There For A Reason)

You Know My Name (Look Up The Number) You Know My Number (It’s In Block Letters On The Front Of My Prison Jumpsuit)

You Know What To Do You Know What To Do (Cut The Red Wire, Not The Green One)

You Like Me Too Much  I Hate You Too Much (To Acknowledge Your Existence)

You Never Give Me Your Money  You Never Give Me Your Money (But That’s Going To Change; This Is A Stickup!)

You Really Got A Hold On Me  You Really Got A Hold On Me (Now Let Go, I Can’t Breathe)

You Won’t See Me  You Can’t Be Me (No Matter How Much You Wish You Could)

You’ll Be Mine  You’ll Be Fine (I Lied, You’re Going To Die)

You’re Going To Lose That Girl  Your Hair Will Lose That Curl (And Then No One Will Like You)

You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away  You’ve Got To Hide Your Stash Away

Young Blood Spilled Blood

Your Mother Should Know   Your Mother ‘s Too Slow (To Be Running A Marathon At Her Age

It’s official: I have no life.  

I found this particularly amusing: https://www.beatlesbible.com/f…..4/#p313513

Timothy said

The Hole Got Fixed said

But these days, it seems everything gives you cancer.  

June and July also gives you Cancer.   

This wonderful picture of eels by Beatlebug:

https://www.beatlesbible.com/w…..fEels.jpeg

https://www.beatlesbible.com/f…..5/#p322884

Promise was here: https://www.beatlesbible.com/f…..5/#p322873