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3.11pm
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15 February 2015
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KaleidoscopeMusic said
Maybe she’s an androgynous man like Paul.
Or perhaps, like sweet Loretta Martin, she thought she was a woman, but she was another man. 
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9.56am
1 November 2013
Offline KaleidoscopeMusic said
Does this fic you’re reading happen to be called “What If?” It’s not the greatest but it’s one of the best I’ve seen so far. “I’ll Be Back Retrospective” is another good one.Maybe she’s an androgynous man like Paul.
I would disagree with that. This fic is one big anarchism stew. Other than that I don’t like how the writer constantly spells out what everyone is feeling instead of letting the action speek for itself. Also the story is full of filler details that just pad out the word count.
11.10am
27 March 2015
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I don’t know if writing extensively about the characters’ emotions is a bad thing by default. When done right, it can be extremely captivating and bring a depth to the story which a more superficial approach might lack. Now, I’m not saying every little detail of every little moment should be spelt out. However, when a character is experiencing something profound, a longer and/or detailed inner dialogue/narrative can really bring everything to life.
Of course, dynamic language is a key element in that regard. Once an author spends half a paragraph explaining how hot it is and how the character’s choice of clothing is making him sweat, by saying his hands are sweaty, and sweat is dripping down his face, and his T-shirts sticks to his back from the sweat, then they lost me as a reader.
Another thing I hate is when the author describes the same feature over and over. I once read a fic which was quite good, except every time Paul’s eyes were mentioned, the author used ‘hazel orbs’ to describe them. Every. Single. Time. By chapter two, I found myself yelling, “Yes, I get it, his eyes are hazel, and you like the word ‘orbs’. Please get your thesaurus and try another synonym for ‘eyes’, thank you!”
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2016
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11.29am
1 November 2013
Offline In this fic, I felt that they don’t let momens speak for themselves enough. Like in this fic, things are always done seductively. Always.
I can forgive things like that if I like the plot or characters.
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Mademoiselle Kitty >^..^<1.05pm
27 March 2015
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I just read most of that story you linked, @Starr Shine? , and I hate it. This might be the worst Mary Sue I have ever come across. The main character is, to me, highly unlikeable (arrogant), and the story, of course is rife with wrong assumptions, anachronisms, and factual errors. It would seem the author hasn’t done any research whatsoever. I mean, a quick Google search shows that the Inny had separate schools for boys and girls, and that the school colours were blue and green with gray. And that’s probably the least offensive mistake.
I agree the way everyone is out to seduce her is annoying, but the way she writes thoughts is not what I meant. I really enjoy thoughts/inner dialogue which focuses on deeper emotions, observations, reflection and self reflection, et cetera. When done correctly, it isn’t leading, like this story is, but it helps pull the reader deeper into the story. That was not the case here. I must have spent more time rolling my eyes than I did actually reading. Then again, first person fics are risky. I generally don’t like them.
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3.01pm
1 November 2013
Offline I agree the way everyone is out to seduce her is annoying, but the way she writes thoughts is not what I meant. I really enjoy thoughts/inner dialogue which focuses on deeper emotions, observations, reflection and self reflection, et cetera. When done correctly, it isn’t leading, like this story is, but it helps pull the reader deeper into the story. That was not the case here. I must have spent more time rolling my eyes than I did actually reading. Then again, first person fics are risky. I generally don’t like them.
First person POV when done right, is my favorite type of POV since you can get a person’s true flavor coloring everything they see and can better drag you into the story and give some new perspective on things.
One thing that I find strange about this fic is that she doesn’t seem to wonder why she is back in time or how she got there. Also it is strange how she never bothers to get to know her ‘mom’ or even talk to her ‘dad’. Her lack of curiosity about her situation makes her non-relatable.
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Mademoiselle Kitty >^..^<3.43pm
27 March 2015
Offline That, too. Her general ‘holier than thou’ attitude is what turned me off the most. She never even bothers to question her opinion on the lads, nor does she even try to understand them.
My favourite type is third person fiction, but you do have a point. First person gives easier access to the character’s train of thought. This can easily be achieved in the third person variety too, though, if the author is willing to really flesh out the characters’ thoughts and emotions. Sadly, this rarely happens.
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7.29pm
1 November 2013
Offline JPM-Fangirl said
My favourite type is third person fiction, but you do have a point. First person gives easier access to the character’s train of thought. This can easily be achieved in the third person variety too, though, if the author is willing to really flesh out the characters’ thoughts and emotions. Sadly, this rarely happens.
I think both P.O.V have their place where they can shine the brightest, I’ve read wonderful stories in third person omniscience and third person observer.
I finished all of the fanfic that is up. Some of my favorite Paul quotes
“I’ll save you from potato-Hell with lots of running”
“Show me your competitive side”
Also I like how she mentioned how she missed her best friend a lot yet only mentions her once though that’s just par for course for miss Colon.
Plus when she goes to the restaurant, she should of just read the menu instead of ordering foods they never heard of (good job on not giving away that you are from the future :P)
This is borderline so bad it’s good for me.
@KaleidoscopeMusic what makes this fic one of the best you’ve seen so far?
7.20am
1 November 2013
Offline I decided to submit a review about some of the historical inaccuracy and this was her response.
I am aware of all these things (The Ringo thing only about a week ago), but for the sake of the story, some things need to change, but I do try to keep personalities and the basics of what was going on at the time the as accurate as possible. (If everything was one hundred percent accurate, there would be no girl there to begin with and thus no story.) And though I claim to know a lot about the Beatles, which I do, I do not claim to know everything. So, yes, I’m sure there’s information out there that you’re aware of that I’m not and, vice versa, there is information that I know that you don’t. You won’t find a Beatles fanfiction out there where everything is 100% historically correct.
I can understand fudging history for the sake of a good story, but I feel that there were some things that were fudge in her story that didn’t need to be. Like the fact that Pete Best was in the Quarrymen since Pete Best isn’t a major player in her story, he could of been written out for more historical accuracy.
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Mademoiselle Kitty >^..^<7.56am
27 March 2015
Offline Oh wow, she doesn’t take kindly to criticism, does she?
Sure, poetic license is allowed, especially where it benefits the story. But how does she explain the dress that ended mid-thigh, when mini skirts were not yet invented in 1960? Skirts that short didn’t exist! It’s things like that which make the story unrealistic, which apparently she doesn’t understand.
I find her view on the lads’ personalities rather one dimensional, but hey… It’s her party, I suppose.
I’m interested to read what you wrote to her. Did you include that Paul, in fact, did NOT dump Dot right after she miscarried, but stayed in a relationship with her for two more years? I also wonder where she got the notion that George was painfully shy as a teenager, when it’s obvious he wasn’t.
Anyway, she missed an opportunity to create a great fic, which is a pity. There aren’t many fanfic writers that actually master the English language. She does, which puts her in the perfect position to write something great. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.
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8.04am
1 November 2013
Offline JPM-Fangirl said
I’m interested to read what you wrote to her. Did you include that Paul, in fact, did NOT dump Dot right after she miscarried, but stayed in a relationship with her for two more years? I also wonder where she got the notion that George was painfully shy as a teenager, when it’s obvious he wasn’t.
I put three responses
You couldn’t find anything on Ringo? He like John and George, also cheated on his wife and like John, was cruel to his woman at times.
How did Colleen get into an all boys school?
Two things
1. Pete Best was never a member of the Quarrymen
2. When Stu joined the Quarrymen in 1960, George was not going to highschool since he dropped out in 1959.
I didn’t wanna go too overboard or else I’d be reviewing all night. I’ve seen other fics were George was really shy before. Quiet doesn’t equal shy.
8.44am
27 March 2015
Offline You’re too kind. I would have written an essay….hahaha!
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3.17pm
3 November 2015
Offline McAnnadog40 said
@KaleidoscopeMusic what makes this fic one of the best you’ve seen so far?
It’s one of the few I can actually get through.
I’m collaborating with someone else to write our own Beatle fanfic because as they say, if you want to read something that hasn’t been written yet, write it yourself. I’m tired of reading fanfiction with non-stimulating English, with wording that doesn’t make me think, terrible time travel plots, and terrible plots in general. Not to mention, short chapters with flat characters and girls that think they’ll get in with the Beatles by just being them.
Like can someone please do justice to the 4 most wonderful men in the world? Whatever happened to characterization, real dialogue, and depth?
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4.13pm
1 November 2013
Offline KaleidoscopeMusic said
It’s one of the few I can actually get through.
I get that. I managed to read though it all. I like so bad it’s good stories and this hit that note.
I’m collaborating with someone else to write our own Beatle fanfic because as they say, if you want to read something that hasn’t been written yet, write it yourself.
That’s awesome, do you guys plan on posting it when you get done or is it more for yourselves? The only fanfic I ever write is troll fanfiction.
Like can someone please do justice to the 4 most wonderful men in the world? Whatever happened to characterization, real dialogue, and depth?
I have seen several good fics that are both Gen and some Slash. Some people have linked some oc fanfics but I haven’t read them so I wouldn’t know.
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KaleidoscopeMusic3.21pm
3 November 2015
Offline We posted the first chapter: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1…..6/1/120980 It’s trash, but in the best way. I welcome criticisms.
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9.55am
26 June 2015
Offline http://www.wattpad.com has A LOT of beatle fanfictions. I write a lot down there too.
I’ve written the whole “The Beatles In” series
The Beatles In 2013
The Beatles In 2014
The Beatles in 2016
and some others.
If you search for Beatle fanfics or like to write them. just go on Wattpad
8.37pm
1 November 2013
Offline I was trolling for fanfiction and I saw one fanfiction with some ‘interesting’ parings
Couple[s]: George/Dhani Dhani/Zak Dhani/Stella George/Paul
Never been into Wattpad much.
1.38am
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Moderators
1 May 2011
Offline Starr Shine? said
I was trolling for fanfiction and I saw one fanfiction with some ‘interesting’ paringsCouple[s]: George/Dhani Dhani/Zak Dhani/Stella George/Paul
Never been into Wattpad much.
Is the first one right!? If so that’s sick and demented, unless they mean George M (which is slightly less euuuuggghhh).
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7.21am
1 November 2013
Offline It is right and I took a glance and it isn’t George M,
8.19am
Moderators
15 February 2015
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