Rest in peace | Fab forum

kedame said

fabfouremily said

kedame said
Nice thread, Joe, and I'm sorry about your friend.

My dad died when I was 13, about 10 years ago. He was a brilliant man with an incredible brain, but we have addiction problems in our family. He drank too much of that strong water, and we all paid the price. He was sweet and loving, though, and I wish he could have reached his full potential in life.

My daddy loved music more than anything. He couldn't play, but boy did he love to listen! I have recently inherited his record collection from my sister. There were only 2 Beatles albums (the White Album and Let it Be), one Paul album (Tug of War), and one John album (Double Fantasy), but it helps me feel closer to him knowing that we have listened to the same music.

I find it odd that my little sister and I do the same thing John and Paul did when talking about their mothers with other people…we make jokes and make them uncomfortable. There is nothing funnier (and meaner) than watching someone's face go dark when they ask you, "What does your dad do?" and you bluntly answer, "My dad died." It's so mean, but it's how I deal.

If you ever get a chance, check out the song Box o' Bones by Dick Smith. It was written for my dad by his friends (who are Dick Smith band members) and played at his funeral. It's not uploaded to youtube, but I think you can listen to part of it on amazon.

I'm sorry about your dad, I can sort of sympathize because although my dad is alive, he's an alcoholic and he isn't the same person that he used to be. My mom is worried that he won't be around for much longer if he carries on the way he is now (eating and drinking to much etc..). Your dad sounds like a really nice man and I'm glad that you still see him that way despite things, I'm not sure that I'll be able to.

I'm sorry about your dad. I know it's tough. I was about 11 when my parents divorced, and it was really hard to deal with the alcoholism before that. He would yell and was angry a lot, and he got put in jail for stealing a few times (I'm pretty sure that's how I got my first Harry Potter book…and an Enrique Iglesias cd. lol). I wasn't quite old enough to honestly hate him for what he did to his life and ours, but my older sister was. She regrets that so much now because she thinks she was a bad daughter…but she was just a teenager, 16, when he died. I always try to tell her it wasn't her fault they weren't close. It was his. He was the adult.

I think it helps knowing that alcoholism is a disease, and I know he tried to conquer that disease. He had a lot of mental health issues, too, that exacerbated the drinking. I think I see it now as more of a really sad thing than something to be angry about.

I know it's hard, but I hope your dad has some redeeming qualities that you can appreciate him for. Maybe you should try talking to him about why he drinks, and tell him how it makes you feel. I know that can be hard, too, because you don't want to say anything to start a confrontation.

I really hope he gets better. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I've been there, and maybe I can help if you need it.

I appreciate your advice and concern a lot, it´s sometimes very difficult to deal with as I haven´t got the nerve to tell my friends so I can´t talk to them. I don´t know why, I suppose I´m embarassed although I know that it´s not me, it´s him that has the addiction. I talk to my sister sometimes but if you remember me saying in another thread a while ago, she´s going to another country to uni next year. So, usually I don´t have anybody to talk to about it, which makes me feel as if I have to deal with it on my own. Thank you.