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Generation gap - good or bad?
20 January 2014
7.51pm
Into the Sky with Diamonds
New York
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Ahhh Girl has brought up this topic on another thread, and I'll paste her question here:

Some people say that the lack of separation of generations these days is part of society's problems. Parents want to be their children's "friends" and seem "cool" instead of parents to them. Do you have an opinion on this topic?

I don't see it as having been a plus in any way, shape or form. There was a lack of understanding and appreciation in both directions. Both sides looked down at the other. Yet while the under-30 group was busy producing fabulous, ground-breaking music, the over-30 group was winning the race to the moon.

I think there's a happy medium between not taking the time to relate to your children's opinions and forgetting that you're their parent, not their friend.

"Into the Sky with Diamonds" (the Beatles and the Race to the Moon – a history)
20 January 2014
9.21pm
HeyTrud
Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Candlestick Park
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I see a lot of parents who choose to be more of a friend than a parent to their child.  In my humble opinion, children will make their own friends and parents need to remain parents.  Not to say I don't appreciate being "a cool Mom" every now and then.

I think that kids need structure in their lives.  In my own experience raising children, I think you can become closer to them and more "friend-like", if they learn to respect you and you learn to respect them.  While I have never tried to be their "friend", I certainly have an open door policy and they can come to me any time or ask me any thing. 

I support my kids 100% in any thing they choose to do, be it playing an instrument or acting.  I am the Mom that is always at their "concerts, shows, etc."  I think it instills confidence in them knowing that no matter what, Mom is there to support them.

I think that parents who want to be friends with their kids certainly blend any generation gap there might be, but I don't think it is for the better.

Like ITSWD said....happy medium is best.

"....take a sad song & make it Meilleur"....

20 January 2014
10.49pm
YouKnowMyName
YouKnowWhere
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When I was younger my parents raised me rather traditionally. They could be considered somewhat strict, but were always there to support me and help me adjust to the world. They also had no problems embarrassing me. I was aware that my friends had parents with different, looser methods, and less defined boundaries. As a teen, my parents act a little more like friends, but rise up to their old methods if I seek their advice. They did a fine job raising me, if I say so myself, and I'd say at 16 I'm ready for whatever is the world throws at me. In addition, I never considered raising my voice to them or showing disrespect, while some of my friends (especially now, since they are teens) voice their opinions to their parents (who were less "strict" and more "friend-like") with surprisingly soft punishment. So basically what I think is that parents need to be parents, so they can become more than parents (friends) when their child is mature, which could be at teenage years or later.

You know my name you know number too
You know my name you know my number
What's up with you?

20 January 2014
11.22pm
Necko
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Here is an interesting page that somewhat pertains to this topic. I hate to be the one to enter facts and not give opinions, but the first thing that sprang to my mind was Baumrind's parenting styles, so I looked for info on it to source. Maybe it's not as relevant as I originally thought. 

 

http://www.aboutourkids.org/ar.....ents_match

I'm Necko.  I'm like Ringo except I wear necklaces.
21 January 2014
12.28am
Ahhh Girl
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First, I just have to brag on HeyTrud. She is an awesome parent. If she had been Lennon's mom, he may have turned out a lot different. Just food for thought. Anyhoo, the guys approve of her efforts to raise her children right.

Your parents seem right fine also, YouKnowMyName. You can tell them I said so if you like.

This conversation is being conducted people who are probably a quite a bit higher than normal on the emotional and intelligence scales. We are all on the the Beatles Bible forum for a start, and we all recognize fabulous music when we hear it.

I think YouKnowMyName's description of the behavior of his friends of less-fortunate parenting is a good lesson for all. Now, if we could get what some would derogatorily call "Wal-Mart" parents to see the wisdom being put forth in this thread, schools and society-at-large would be much better places.

To those of you who are parents, keep on the good path. I knew I couldn't hack it so I refrained from having off-spring that would then be unleashed upon society.

21 January 2014
12.36am
trcanberra
Canberra, ACT
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My generation gap issue is that I have the mind of someone a tad younger in an ageing body - I always want to do interesting fun stuff and my peers seem to be a stodgy bunch of 19th century conservative types who think I should be past all that stuff by now :)

21 January 2014
12.44am
Ahhh Girl
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trcanberra said
My generation gap issue is that I have the mind of someone a tad younger in an ageing body - I always want to do interesting fun stuff and my peers seem to be a stodgy bunch of 19th century conservative types who think I should be past all that stuff by now :)

Just give them a a-hard-days-night-paul-11 and stay young at heart and in actions. Play those video games to your heart's content. From the things you've mentioned in various posts, I know you to be one of the good parents.

 

21 January 2014
12.56am
YouKnowMyName
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a-hard-days-night-ringo-8 I agree. I'm going to keep my youthful spirit even when I'm sixty four! Life's too short not to have fun.

You know my name you know number too
You know my name you know my number
What's up with you?

21 January 2014
1.10am
WETSRoosa
Mountains of East Tennessee
Apple rooftop
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HeyTrud said
I see a lot of parents who choose to be more of a friend than a parent to their child.  In my humble opinion, children will make their own friends and parents need to remain parents.  Not to say I don't appreciate being "a cool Mom" every now and then.

I think that kids need structure in their lives.  In my own experience raising children, I think you can become closer to them and more "friend-like", if they learn to respect you and you learn to respect them.  While I have never tried to be their "friend", I certainly have an open door policy and they can come to me any time or ask me any thing. 

I support my kids 100% in any thing they choose to do, be it playing an instrument or acting.  I am the Mom that is always at their "concerts, shows, etc."  I think it instills confidence in them knowing that no matter what, Mom is there to support them.

I think that parents who want to be friends with their kids certainly blend any generation gap there might be, but I don't think it is for the better.

Like ITSWD said....happy medium is best.

Growing up, if there's one thing our house didn't lack, it's structure. My parents were the boss, and I didn't dare argue with them. I had the benefit of having an older brother who made all the mistakes and tested the boundaries so I didn't have to. And then, after many years of extremely hands-on parenting, when I became a teenager, especially around 15-16, they became... well, hands off, for lack of a better word. I asked them later why they went that way, and their answer was that I was a young adult now, so I should be treated like one. Still, at the time I remember thinking "You guys monitored me and my schoolwork like hawks... now you're not going to?" It's amazing I didn't rebel. (Didn't have to guts to, that was the reason why.)

Now that I am a dad, I find myself all the time wondering how they handled it.

"Daddy, just remember... Mommy's smarter than you. She said so."- My 4 year old
21 January 2014
1.21am
Ahhh Girl
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a-hard-days-night-ringo-8Well there was that one "movie"-recording frenzy that they had to handle. Right, wetsroosa?

21 January 2014
1.56am
WETSRoosa
Mountains of East Tennessee
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Ahhh Girl said
a-hard-days-night-ringo-8Well there was that one "movie"-recording frenzy that they had to handle. Right, wetsroosa?

They never found the movies- I was real adept at hiding them. I do remember Dad staring at me (or glaring at me) when he found the Playboy Channel on the dish and me trying to act surprised like I had no idea it was there. Good times! ahdn_ringo_09

"Daddy, just remember... Mommy's smarter than you. She said so."- My 4 year old
21 January 2014
4.02am
Sky999
On The Hill
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I think a generation gap can have a good and bad effect, but I think happy medium like Into The Sky said is probably the best. 

I do not have kids at the moment, although I help raised my brother and occasionally I look after my nephew and niece. When I do have kids I would like to try to follow Trud.

Trud:

I think that kids need structure in their lives.  In my own experience raising children, I think you can become closer to them and more "friend-like", if they learn to respect you and you learn to respect them.  While I have never tried to be their "friend", I certainly have an open door policy and they can come to me any time or ask me any thing. 

I support my kids 100% in any thing they choose to do, be it playing an instrument or acting.  I am the Mom that is always at their "concerts, shows, etc."  I think it instills confidence in them knowing that no matter what, Mom is there to support them.

I would also like to learn from them and not brush them off like my parents did. There were a number of times my parents brushed off me to say "You're a teenager" or "You don't understand because you are just a kid". I may have been a kid (teen), but I was aware of things. Furthermore, they thought because they had been teens once they knew everything. -_- Times have changed mommy and daddy since the 60s and 70s. There is a whole lot more out there. There is more stuff out there since I've graduated high school almost 6 years ago. Plus not everyone is the same! Shocking!

My mother's pet peeve was that I was not like her at all. She has come to accept this now, but...those were some long days when I was a teen. She was outgoing, loud, and thought annoying people is funny. Me, I rather not bother people, keep to myself unless someone wants to talk to me, and stay at home read or watch tv. 

 

 

 

21 January 2014
5.10am
HeyTrud
Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Candlestick Park
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Ahhh Girl said
First, I just have to brag on HeyTrud. She is an awesome parent. If she had been Lennon's mom, he may have turned out a lot different. Just food for thought. Anyhoo, the guys approve of her efforts to raise her children right.

Your parents seem right fine also, YouKnowMyName. You can tell them I said so if you like.

This conversation is being conducted people who are probably a quite a bit higher than normal on the emotional and intelligence scales. We are all on the the Beatles Bible forum for a start, and we all recognize fabulous music when we hear it.

I think YouKnowMyName's description of the behavior of his friends of less-fortunate parenting is a good lesson for all. Now, if we could get what some would derogatorily call "Wal-Mart" parents to see the wisdom being put forth in this thread, schools and society-at-large would be much better places.

To those of you who are parents, keep on the good path. I knew I couldn't hack it so I refrained from having off-spring that would then be unleashed upon society.

Aww! Thank you, Ahhh Girl & Sky for your kind comments.  I have made plenty of mistakes as a parent, but try to learn from them and move on.  I think it is very commendable for people to realize they cannot be (or do not want to be) parents, so choose not to be.  Some people I have seen (like you said AG, "Wal-Mart" parents) or know really shouldn't be parents.  But that's another post! a-hard-days-night-george-10

That is something I made a decision to never do when I became a parent also...talk down to your child.  Like Sky said, their opinion, input, thoughts and feeling matter...no matter their age.  I have always listened to what they have to say and I have learned SO much from my children.  I couldn't begin to list it all!

"....take a sad song & make it Meilleur"....

27 January 2014
4.32am
Ahhh Girl
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"Fascination with beatles continues to grow long after the Fab Four's infamous breakup"

A 2009 Pew Research Center survey placed the Beatles in the top four favorite music acts of Americans ages 16 to 64 — suggesting the band that helped create the 1960s Generation Gap ultimately helped us come together. Perhaps that’s the Beatles’ greatest gift: music that can be shared not only Across The Universe, but across generational lines.

“With the Beatles, everybody becomes one family and you forget age exists,”
 
“The music has successfully been passed to the next generation and the generation after that,” the 66-year-old Bronx native said. “Young people hear the music and that’s it — they’re hooked.”
x-posted to the getting your kids into the Beatles thread and the questions for young Beatles fans thread
28 January 2014
12.50am
Into the Sky with Diamonds
New York
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"Into the Sky with Diamonds" (the Beatles and the Race to the Moon – a history)
28 January 2014
3.14pm
Ahhh Girl
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I thought we could create a list of Beatles songs that mention parents or children to compliment this thread. Here are the one's I've thought of so far.

  1. She's Leaving Home - "Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown" & "Daddy our baby's gone"
  2. Your Mother Should Know
  3. Teddy Boy - "If his mother said "Ted be good" / He would"
  4. Lady Madonna - "Children at your feet" & "Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace"
  5. Let it Be - "Mother Mary comes to me"
  6. Ob La Di Ob La Di - "With a couple of kids running in the yard / Of Desmond and Molly Jones" & "Desmond lets the children lend a hand"
  7. Cry Baby Cry - "Make your mother sigh / She's old enough to know better" & "The queen was in the parlour / Playing piano for the children of the king." & "The queen was in the playroom / Painting pictures for the children's holiday." & "With voices out of nowhere / Put on specially by the children for a lark."

 

 

 

 

28 January 2014
3.20pm
Into the Sky with Diamonds
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"She's Leaving Home" fits right into the generation gap issue. The parents give their daughter all the material things she could want - but she needs something different...

"Into the Sky with Diamonds" (the Beatles and the Race to the Moon – a history)
28 January 2014
3.25pm
Ahhh Girl
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Into the Sky with Diamonds said
"She's Leaving Home" fits right into the generation gap issue. The parents give their daughter all the material things she could want - but she needs something different...

That's the song that got me to thinking about creating the list. heart I adore that song.

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