He moves and stands about like an actress.
GIRL: But that’s not like a real person at all.
PAUL: Aye well, actresses aren’t like real people, are they?
GIRL: They ought to be.
PAUL: Oh, I don’t know, anyroad up, they never are, are they?
GIRL: (teasingly) What are you?
PAUL: I’m in a group… well… there are four of us, we play and sing.
GIRL: I bet you don’t sound like real people.
PAUL: We do, you know. We sound like us having a ball. It’s fab.
GIRL: Is it really though.
GIRL: Is it really fab or are you just saying that to convince yourself
PAUL: What of? Look, I wouldn’t do it unless I was. I’m dead lucky ‘cos I get paid for doing something I love doing. (he laughs and with a gesture takes in the whole studio) all this and a jam butty too!
GIRL: I only enjoy acting for myself. I hate it when other people are let in.
PAUL: Why? I mean, which are you, scared or selfish?
GIRL: Why selfish?
PAUL: Well, you’ve got to have people to taste your treacle toffee.
She looks at him in surprise.
PAUL: No, hang on, I’ve not gone daft. You see, when I was little me mother let me make some treacle toffee one time in our back scullery. When I’d done she said to me, “Go and give some to the other kids.” So I said I would but I thought to myself, “She must think I’m soft.” Anyroad, I was eating away there but I wanted somebody else to know how good it was so in the end I wound up giving it all away… but I didn’t mind, cos I’d made the stuff in the first place. Well… that’s why you need other people… an audience… to taste your treacle toffee, like. Eh… does that sound as thick-headed to you as it does to me?
GIRL: Not really but I’m probably not a toffee maker.
PAUL: Oh sorry.
GIRL: You are though, aren’t you?
GIRL: How would you do these lines of mine?
PAUL: Who, me? Oh, I’d make a giggle and it’d be all wrong… funny, but all wrong.
GIRL: Yes, but how?
PAUL: Oh, definitely, it sticks out a mile, she’s trying to get him to marry her but he doesn’t want… well… I don’t reckon any fella’s ever wanted to get married, they just do it to keep the girl friend quiet and by the time you’ve quietened her, she’s the wife.
GIRL: That’s not very romantic.
PAUL: Oh, I dunno, getting pulled for marriage when all you want’s a bit of fun, I think that’s very romantic and clever too. That’s what, but girls are like that, clever and cunning. You’ve got to laugh.
GIRL: Well, it’s nice to know you think we’re clever.
PAUL: (grinning) And winning.
GIRL: And what do you think about it?
PAUL: Me? Oh, I don’t have the time, I’m always running about with the lads… no, we don’t have the time.
PAUL: (not noticing the invitation) Aye, it is but as I say as you get by, it’s alright, you know… bask on, happy valley; when they let you stop. Anyroad, I’d better get back.
PAUL: (going) See you.
GIRL: Of course.
Paul stands at the doorway, shrugs, then goes out. After a moment the girl starts to act her speech. She is still using her actress voice.
GIRL: If I believe you, sire, I might do… (she breaks off and smiles)… clever and cunning…
She starts again but this time she delivers the lines in a saucy teasing manner.
Paul pops his head back round the door.
PAUL: Treacle toffee… wowee!
8.00am, Monday 20 April 1964 (50 years ago)